Due to a few signs, we thought that my wife might be pregnant. We scheduled a visit to her doctor but before the day of the visit came, we discovered she wasn’t. It was a false alarm. During those two or three days of facing the possibility of having another child come into our lives, we were torn between excitement and worry. We were excited about the new baby, we wanted it to be a girl. At the same time we also were worried that the arrival of the baby would interfere with our plans. Having a new baby was not part of our plan, at least not until next year. My wife is just a semester away from finally having her degree, and she is halfway through her thesis. Pregnancy during this time is not a very favorable prospect. (more…)

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I put off writing this article to the last minute because I was hoping this article would be written by a daddy.  My baby was due today, and my wife has been ready to deliver this baby for over a week now.  However, the little one is very stubborn and not ready to join the world just yet.  Fortunately, for us there are many people who have decided to offer us ‘advice’ on how to get the labor machine started.

There are those who suggested foods to eat, things to drink and things to do.  I have looked into many of them, and it would appear there is no solid evidence suggesting that any one works better than the other.  Let me start with eating spicy food.  Science shows spicy food gets the digestion process stimulated and could jump-start the labor process.  The same thing goes for castor oil.  It can start contractions because of the increased activity in the bowels.

Some people have even suggested a glass of wine.  Believe it or not, there are those who suggest alcohol during this time.  Not to go get drunk, but to have ONE glass in order to relax.  Stress can prolong the process, which leads to massage and acupuncture.  These also help reduce stress and relax the muscles.  Many massage therapists claim there are certain trigger points in the body that may stimulate certain muscles as well.  Acupuncture also does the same.  Simple Google searches display certain pressure points to work.

Many other people suggest intercourse.  This is one is my personal favorite and actually has some scientific merit.  Two chemicals, oxytocin and prostaglandins, are produced.  Both are chemicals that doctors use to start contractions.  Intercourse goes about it in a natural way.

My favorite suggestion was by my wife’s grandparents.  They started labor by driving down a bumpy road.  Every time I hit a bump, I get a chuckle picturing them years ago.

I am hoping for labor any day now, but just in case…what suggestions do you have to help get things moving?  What worked for you? Tweet me www.twitter.com/joeylaw.

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When I was two I received a brand new tricycle from my grandpa.  I rode that thing all over the house and especially into my mom’s freshly painted baseboards.  I scuffed them up beyond all recognition.  So I was told many times by my mother.  This memory is not actually one of my own.  In fact, there are many things my parents told me about my childhood.  I often wonder what things they have forgot.

I read an article that suggested writing a letter to your unborn child about expectations and what you think it will be like to meet him or her for the first time.  As a writer, I decided to take it one step further and keep a journal.  My first entry is from the day my wife told me she was pregnant.  I was gone on trip to fix a cargo plane.  It was supposed to only be a two day trip and turned out  to be over a week long.  She learned we were expecting the night I left and held it in for a couple days hoping I would be home soon.  However, Uncle Sam kept finding more work for our team and delayed us.  She burst out with excitement one night over the phone.

That is a story I hope our child learns about.  I would love to know how my parents came up with my name?  What other names did they kick around?  What if I had been a girl?  These are all things they could recall, but exactly how vividly?  I am the youngest of five, and I have over twenty cousins.  I am sure a detail or two has been forgotten.

A journal of doctor’s visits and other big things that happen are things I love to document.  Since it is an electronic file on my computer, I even have added pictures of my wife as time goes by and her baby-bump grows and all of the ultrasound pictures we have.

Any suggestions on how to share this with our child one day?

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I remember taking tests in school and how emphatic the teachers were about cheating on tests.  I actually used to cheat just in spite of their warnings…what a rebel.  When it comes to parenting, I still may be a cheater after all.

Recently, my wife had an ultrasound done at her midway point.  Sadly, I couldn’t be there to experience it because I am sweating it out in the desert.  However, she sent me tons of pictures that the technician had taken.  It is so amazing seeing the little toes and fingers.  I am jealous I couldn’t have been there to see the little one wiggle around.

We do not want to find out the gender until the big day mainly because we would be discovering the news separately but also because we are a bit old-fashioned and want to experience the surprise.  Some people label learning the gender as cheating…I disagree, just not for us.

Another form of “cheating” in the baby arena is the 4D pictures you can receive.  These pictures are awesome in that you can see numerous details of your forming child.  They show birth defects like too many fingers or toes.  Thousands of other things can be determined by these images.

After posting one of these pictures on my Facebook account, I had a friend subtly call me a cheater.  She said that these pictures are close resemblances to how the baby will look when born.  I have seen some taken close to the delivery date, and I agree to a point.  Using the gift of hindsight, I could see some features that appeared in the 4D.  However, I never would have pictured the child’s actual appearance by viewing these images.

It is like looking back at people’s childhood photos and picking out features from their youth.  You can see how they got their current look by looking back on these.  If you were to look at this same picture without seeing the adult version, you would never picture the person’s appearance.

Therefore, I believe that I am not cheater.  What do you think?

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Expecting a child is a very sobering experience.  It is not as easy as picking out the paint colors for the nursery and what stroller we’ll be pushing.  We are facing huge decisions that will impact the rest of our child’s life, today.

Recently, my wife completed her twentieth week of pregnancy.  The halfway point.  We currently are looking into the vaccine uproar.  Many people are claiming that the rise in autism and other childhood diseases are increasing and have increased greatly since the trend of getting vaccines from birth.

I never gave a second thought to the whole debate until I was prepping for this deployment that I am undergoing.  Yearly, Uncle Sam requires me to get a multitude of vaccines.  Before a deployment, I am required to get vaccines for the possible diseases and enemy threats I may face.  Usually, we receive a handful of vaccinations at the same time.

I am almost always drained the next day.  When I went to Iraq, I got lots of shots including Anthrax and Smallpox.  I had no energy and was in bed for a few days.  It makes me sad to think a baby will go through the same thing.  I am 6 foot 1 and walk around at 190 pounds.  These shots kick my butt.  What about a ten pound child?

Newborn babies get a Hepatitis B shot right out of the womb.  It is the same exact dose that I receive as an adult.  According to the CDC, over ten vaccinations are delivered within the first year of life.  I know some are needed, but I am sure that all of them are not required to have a normal, healthy baby.

This is still one of those controversial topics with many valid arguments.  It is very scary to be forced with such decisions, and many of us just trust what doctors say.  I try to live by the Reagan, “Trust but verify,” thought process.

Currently, I am leaning towards the safe-side but am still very open minded.  Does anybody have some good resources that support either side of this debate?

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