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The Life of a Surrogate Mother

by Editorial Team | June 18th, 2018 | Pregnancy

The life of a surrogate mother may not be what you would think. Surrogacy Ukraine is a burgeoning field for many women and I was fortunate enough to speak to one.

Surrogacy Ukraine has become a viable and wonderful option of employment for many women. While pitfalls can exist, progressive laws strictly dictate surrogacy Ukraine and how it is carried out. Recently, news reports of corruption and untoward treatment of women have surfaced, leaving many prospective parents and the public unsure of exactly what to think.

The term surrogacy Ukraine can evoke many different emotions. For some, it evokes a sensation of pride, as they think about the boy, no, the man, who stood proudly, if not slightly nervous, wringing his hands, exactly as his mother would, against the wooden podium in the middle of the cavernous auditorium as he delivered the valedictorian speech to his fellow classmates. A shy teenager, plagued with slight acne, just as his father had, leaning with uncertainty and reservation against the darkened corner of a gymnasium that’s been brightly decorated with crepe paper and balloons, terrified of what may – or may not – happen with the start of the next song that floats over the dance floor. Warm memories of a tow headed child running across a backyard. Screaming in delight as he dissolves into giggles, piling into the arms of his beckoning father, while rays of sunshine gleam against both of their smiles, noticeably identical. Or the moment when they first held that precious child in their arms. Watching him draw his first breaths and open eyes that were almost too blue to be real, while impossibly small hands gripped at what seemed suddenly to be comically large thumbs for the first time. A brittle and tenuous embrace that captivated their entire beings and held tighter than those small hands should have been able to.  A dream that was realized only after having contended with the darkly cavernous guilt, shame, and sorrow that accompanied the thought that these joys were something they would never know. Something that was kept from them.

Some see something less beautiful and personal. “Wombs for rent”, “designer babies”, “test tube children”. Surrogacy Ukraine has had many uncomfortable epithets thrown their way. Some will never be able to see the joy that a surrogate mother will bring, because they don’t understand the anguish that exists without them. Some people see poor women, poor in skill and poor in money, being exploited, while others only see the triumph of modern medicine and scientific advance. What no one ever sees, what no one can, is what she sees. Surrogate Ukraine mothers often refer to their jobs as much more than pregnancy for hire, but as a calling, a way of enriching their own life through the cultivation of joys in others. The life of a surrogate mother, and what it entails isn’t necessarily easy or fantastically lucrative. In some countries, surrogate mothers aren’t allowed any reparation whatsoever- and yet, surrogacy Ukraine is still available. Women continue to devote their lives, and their wombs, to couples in search of a dream that can feel overwhelmingly out of reach. This is the story of why.

Natalia is a 27 year old female who lives works in surrogacy Ukraine. She’s been a surrogate mother three times, and had her first child when she was 22. She’s pretty in a strong way. Above her square shoulders and narrow features, two pools of warm green, speckled with flecks of gold shine upon you when you look at her. Suddenly you have the feeling that you’re talking with the Madonna and child, incarnate. She radiates the type of caring and kind demeanor that makes people everywhere feel at ease, like you’d just like to curl in for a long hug and that would be perfectly fine. She is a natural born mother.

Although we don’t speak the same language, the surrogacy ukraine agency that put me in touch with her has provided a translator. Even though I can understand very little of what she’s saying, the way she shapes her words using her hands and facial expressions, and the patience she exhibits as the listens to me direct rapid questions to the interpreter, you can tell she was built for this. “I had my child when I was younger. The experience was very nice, but having my child was my life’s greatest accomplishment. I cannot describe the way I felt that day when I saw herfor the time.” Natalia goes on, the way all mothers do, talking about the various accomplishments and adorable quirks her daughter has, pride glowing in her cheeks. I ask her what convinced her to work for surrogacy ukraine in the first place. She relates a sad tale of a friend who was unable to conceive. She spoke of the many hardships that both her friend and her friends husband had to go through, how long they tried for a child. Natalia said that one day, while she was discussing these problems with her friend over a coffee at her kitchen table, her little girl ran in, and she remembered how happy she has been to see the toddler bumble across the tile floor. It was that moment that she knew exactly how she could help her friend. “Since then, I have helped two other couples have their children through surrogacy Ukraine. It is not about the money, or the pregnancy. In fact, it is not about me at all. The moment that you give someone the child that they have longed for is almost as beautiful as seeing your own.”

Natalia says that being a Ukraine surrogate mother isn’t always easy. The rigorous health exams and mental evaluations are very thorough, if not sometimes tedious. Natalia laughs and talks about how when she was pregnant with her child, she would sometimes cheat and lay in bed all day or have a glass of wine before dinner, occasionally missing a doctor’s appointment, only to reschedule it a few days later. Natalia says that she would never dream of being so lax while working for surrogacy Ukraine. “There is a bond and a connection that you make with these parents. They trust you to keep your word and treat their child with unconditional love and respect. There’s no way I could ever disappoint them. No way I could ever do anything to harm their child or their trust.” She also happily reports that the surrogacy Ukraine agency that she works for is very “vigilant” about ensuring regular appointments and check ups. “They are wonderful. They provide me with any healthcare I could need, including emotional support.” Natalia says that on top of routine medical examinations, she is also required to call the agency with regular reports of how she is feeling and what’s been happening throughout her pregnancy. “When I first started working with the surrogacy Ukraine agency, I felt like this was a bit odd, but then I remembered how much my friend loved to hear every detail about what was happening, and I realized that these were the reports that were sent to the parents.” Natalia says that these little updates have become absolutely joyous for her and she endeavors to make them as detailed as possible. “Sometimes [the parents] can’t be there to hold my belly or listen to the heartbeat on the ultrasound. This is my way of giving them as much of the experience as I can”. I try and casually ask what Natalia’s home life is like, but she catches the real question I’m skirting. As with everything else, she responds with a kind, patient smile. “I am not poor. Or destitute. Or desperate. I believe there are some women who are. Maybe ones that find parents over the internet, I don’t know. But all of the [surrogacy Ukraine mothers] at the agency are there for the same reason I am. If you are undernourished, or have used drugs, the agency finds this out and will not accept you as a suitable mother. While we are compensated for our time, it is no more than we would make at a regular job.” Natalia continues to describe a home life that’s not all that different from the ones that are familiar to me. She describes her husband, the work he does. They way they share parenting duties and cook meals. How they relax with television and movies, in a living room with a large sofa. She talks about the pictures that adorn her newly painted walls and the small garden in the back of their home. Nothing she says sounds overly picturesque or underly whelming. She talks about going out for coffee with friends. At the end of our conversation I am left with the distinct impression that she is similar to so many women that I know and respect. That her dreams and way of life aren’t that different from my own. She is happy, and her work as a surrogacy Ukraine mother is just one of the many things in her full life that make her that way.

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