Video games are a part of modern culture. My eight year old son has a NintendoDS permanently affixed to his hands. He can operate the stylus like a surgeon with a scalpel. He knows every Pokemon by name and type and weaknesses and on and on.

The three year old, Alexander, has a hand-held VSmile video game that he calls his DS. It’s a learning video game deal, the kind that is supposed to teach him his shapes and numbers and such while he’s playing. He isn’t all that keen on it, which is OK with us because a learning video game is still a video game. It seemed that we had escaped from the video game obsession with our second child.

Then I made the mistake of digging out my Sega Genesis from an old box.  The finest gaming experience that 1994 had to offer, the old cartridge system is a relic by today’s standards.  But Alexander LOVES it.  He can’t get enough.  Only one game has survived our various moves and yard sales and the ravages of time.  But that’s OK with Lex, because X-Men 2: Clone Wars may as well be the only form of entertainment in the universe as far as he’s concerned.

When we’re not playing the game, we’re acting out scenes (I’m usually assigned the role of Wolverine, while young Lex plays the part of Cyclops).  We wander the house looking for aliens and robots to destroy with our mutant powers.  When I come home from work each evening, he wants to discuss our strategy (“run fast and get the bad guys usually” works) and plan a time that we can play the game that night.

It’s a relatively simple game, and the violence is minimized by the fact that you only fight robots who burst into flame on contact.  He’s getting really good at the jumping and climbing.  Truth is, the game is kind of fun… for the first ten minutes.  Then I start searching for my escape route.

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Okay, I won’t deny it, I am time-poor when it comes to parenting. I know that the time I spend with my only son is not enough to be considered enough time. My wife has been telling me to find more time with my son. I love to, but 24 hours are not enough to make a whole day. I know that it’s not only me, there are many dads out there who also are finding it hard to make time for parenting because they are too busy making a living. I believe that most dads do not see immediately that they are time-poor when it comes to parenting, they think that what they are doing–working hard to make good money– is a good excuse for parenting. It is true that providing for the family is a duty of a father, but it should not stop there.

I just realized how much I am missing out with my son’s progress in this world. I came home yesterday to find my son in front of the computer, his whole attention was on the game he was playing. While I watched him in silence as he tackled that difficult level of the game, I realized that he’s no longer a toddler, my son has turned into a boy. I watched his fingers as they nimbly jumped over the keys as he controlled his game, and I realized how much he has grown. Then he turned to me and explained to me the game he was playing, like a teacher explaining some important lesson, using well-formed sentences in perfect grammar. How could I have missed his transition from toddler to little boy? I come home every day from work like most dads, but I barely notice my son’s progress because as soon as I get home, I go straight to the computer to do some more work.

I used to have a lot of time for my son during his first two years. I knew everything about him then–his shoes, his clothes, and his toys–every single piece. But now I see strange toys, strange shoes, and strange clothes. I’m missing out a lot, I need to catch up. I should make time. This weekend, we’ll go to the park and play some soccer. That’s a promise, I won’t break it.

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When should children start to learn about managing money?  Since financial management is considered a learned behavior, why not learn the right way from the beginning?  Being a self-improvement junkie, I thought of a system to help my child learn about dollars and cents.

I have never been a fan of paying children money to help out around the house.  We are all a family, and we have to pitch in to makes things go smoothly.  When my wife does laundry, I don’t slip her a ten dollar bill, and she doesn’t pay me to mow the lawn.  Why should I give my child money to clean his or her room?  This teaches him to expect something for going through the motions of life.

Instead, I propose a different avenue.  Kids spend a vast majority of their time in school, it is essentially their job from ages 5-18.  Why not reward them as such?  Whatever allowance you would feel comfortable giving for doing chores direct it to a salary for school.

As time goes on, they will get raises or fines for their efforts.  When the report cards come out, treat them like a quarterly evaluation.  Give them raises based on their grades.  $2 per A, $1 per B, $0.50 per C, nothing for a D and take $1 per F.  This will teach them that we get rewarded for our efforts and can’t just skate by.  They are going to have to learn this in the corporate world once they graduate; this will be a huge advantage for them.

I even propose to carry this over into the teen years.  I would rather my child be focused on her studies than go to school all day and then to work right afterward and neglect homework.  If shes chooses to get a job, it will be like having two jobs.

This was just thought up by me while driving home from work one day, and there are many details to work out, but I think you can get a clear picture.  Does anyone else have an unique system for teaching young people how to handle money?

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Recently, I completed earning enough  money to buy a Xbox 360 Pro for myself.  I am limited in the amount of ’screen time’ I am allowed a day, and I wanted to discuss that with you.

Now, some of my thoughts on screens (TV, video games, computers, etc.) for kids.  First of all, I believe they are addictive.  Some studies have shown that video games are addictive, they release a drug-like chemical. Here is one article on the study of video game addiction.  I have seen kids at school who are addicted, it’s all they talk about or do after school (World of Warcraft is the most common addiction).

Also, there is a link between screens and obesity.  Sure, there are games like the Wii Fit that exercise you,  but how much of an exercise are they?  To me the Wii Fit doesn’t provide a serious workout, and most games in it are not as effective as believed.

I think screen time for children should be limited.  Screen time should be decided on a child by child basis, but on a school night anywhere from no time to an hour and a half a day is good.  For example, if a child is doing poorly  in school, limit the amount to a low number (for example zero to half an hour).  On weekends, up to four hours a day is a good amount.  I have noticed that kids who are allowed to use screens more get worse grades.  That is because instead of doing homework when they get home, these kids game or watch TV. Also, in class, these kids will think things like, “I need to level up my dwarf mega super warrior” or “What’s on Fox tonight?… oh, it’s that comedy show” instead of “Two plus two equals four”.

These addictions can cause physical injuries, too, such as the ones mentioned in an older Level Revel article, Injured by Living in a Virtual World (Thanks, Bea).

Screen time should be limited because there are many dangers lurking around the corner!

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After my recent post about the swine flu, alert reader Sean Rushforth asked what I think about the swine flu pandemic. In a word: scary.  In several words, the swine flu pandemic is really, really scary.  (Just to buck the system and stick it to “the Man” at the CDC, I’m going to refer to the H1N1 virus as the “swine flu” throughout this article.)

Here’s the thing about the flu.  It kills people.  Not just the swine flu or Spanish flu or some super flu.  The plain old, garden variety flu kills a half a million people each year.  Virtually all of them elderly or with some form of compromised immunity.

But the last great flu pandemic in 1918 was a different kind of story.  It’s estimated that 1 out of every 3 people IN THE WHOLE WORLD were infected.  At least fifty million died.  The extra 49 million or so deaths were not additional elderly or sickly people.  They were otherwise healthy individuals that got the Spanish flu and then… died.

Enter the swine flu of 2009.  So far, there haven’t been a whole lot of deaths, at least  not in global population terms. That isn’t any consolation to the families of those who have died, however.  The greatly disturbing thing about the swine flu, the reason for you to pay attention, is that it is killing a disproportionate number of young and healthy people.  As a parent, it is enough that you should be concerned (which is not the same as being panicked, mind you).

Not only do parents need to be alert, parents-to-be need to keep this on their radar, too.  For reasons that aren’t especially clear at this point in time, pregnant women are especially susceptible to the swine flu.  As if pregnancy didn’t bring enough drama as it is.

Parents – get your kids vaccinated when the vaccine actually becomes available.  Potential parents – do what you need to do to protect mommy and baby before the birth.  Flu season is coming soon, and I think this may be for real.

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