The tween years, for boys and girls, tend to be filled with weekend sleepovers. At least in our house, they were. On a Friday or Saturday afternoon there was the rush of excitement- which friend to ask, which house to host, what movie to watch. Yes, these are the major decisions of tweens on a non-school night.
For all of the tween fretting, there also is the parental concern of sleep, or lack thereof. How is this to be handled? There are a few simple ways to handle it.
- First, think back to your tween years and remember how excited you were to have sleepovers. There’s no need for an early bedtime when having a sleepover. Of course, if there’s a reason that your tween needs to be bed at an early time (for the weekend), then perhaps it isn’t a good night for a sleepover.
- Second, if there’s no reason that your tween needs to be up early but the adults in the house do, it might not be a good night to host a sleepover. Suggest that the sleepover be held at the friends that night and offer to host next time.
- Third, set expectations for noise levels with your tween. If you usually are up until 10 or 11, isn’t it fine that your tween and friends are a little noisier until this time? No, they shouldn’t be so loud that you can’t enjoy a tv show, but if they’re being silly or singing or whatever-ing in another room, let them be.
- Fourth, at the agreed upon time, explain to the tweens that they need to keep things a bit quieter, so those who want to sleep are able to do so. Make it clear to your tween if it is too loud, you won’t be hosting again in the near future.
- Fifth, don’t expect them to sleep. This is one of those childhood milestones- pulling the all-nighter. Yes, your tween will be tired the next day, but she can learn to handle this. (If there are obligations for her the next day, cover in advance what you expect.) One night without sleep isn’t the end of the world. She’ll drag the following day but will recover.
- Sixth, make it clear that they don’t have to sleep, but the rules of the house are still to be followed. So, things like going outside aren’t acceptable.
- Seventh, have a pickup time scheduled for the following day. If they do stay up all night, they might be grouchy the next day. Prepare a hearty breakfast or have a stash of cereal, bagels, etc., get them fed and packed, and send them home. You only need to deal with one sleepy tween for the day!
Keep these handy guidelines in hand, and it’s sure to be a good night. The key is to set expectations, and it should be a great night for all.