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Cool Parenting

by Gumer Liston | January 7th, 2009 | Helpful Hints


Before I became a father I thought that becoming a “cool dad” was easy. But now my three year-old son is teaching me that parenthood is a big and complicated thing that could not be boxed with a term as simple as “cool dad”. Before I became a father the “Dos and Don’ts” of parenthood were clear to me, but now my three year-old son is teaching me that theory and application are two different things.

Here are the big little things I learned from my son :

Guiding your child to the right direction is more than just saying “no” to any undesirable behavior he shows. As parents we can do more with saying “yes” to the desirable actions our child makes. Telling our child what to do is always better than telling him what not to do. Encouraging good behavior when we see it is also better than giving punishment for undesirable behavior.

It is always better to catch your child being good than catch him behaving badly. When I see my son behaving appropriately, I see to it that he knows that I “caught him being good” by rewarding him with positive feedback. A simple, “Wow, my little boy already knows how to tidy up after playing! Very good.” could go a long way, it will be with him throughout life.

It is important to emphasize to your child the Dos instead of the Don’ts. Do you know that it is possible not to say “do not” by saying “do”? It’s just a matter of knowing how to rephrase your sentence. It is better to say, “Gather your toys after you play with them” than, “Do not just leave you toys when you are done playing with them”.

The cool parent knows that he is aware how hard his child is working to learn new things. It is best to let your child know that you are proud of him, that you recognize him not only for his little successes but also for his attempts to make it in the world. Cool parenting is positive parenting. Cool parenting is learning from what you teach to your child.

  1. kreations says:

    This will probably sound silly, but I think my husband was like you. He isn’t as fexible as you sound, so I think that is why we ended up with the dog we did. I know silly. I always felt like we ended up with my dog because she needed to teach us something. I learned responsability. My husband learned positive re-inforcement of good behavior. She wouldn’t pee outside for him until one day when she peed outside for me he told her good dog. That was all it took and I fought with him to try it for about three months. Just say good dog once and see what happens. See, very silly.

  2. iceah says:

    Nicely put c: I wish every dad would see this I mean every parent. Because this boosts the childs morale also encourages him to do the right thing. He would show it to his playmates too. That is what I see in my son, showing the right way to put things to his playmates c:

  3. chris says:

    wonderfully said…

  4. joanjoyce says:

    Appreciating your kids is really the key to a harmonious parent-kid relationship 🙂 you praise when you have to and you discipline when they need it 🙂 Thanks for the good post 😉

  5. Gem says:

    Cool! Too often the people around us (the boss, our relatives, our friends, strangers) easily see one small mistake than those series of good things that we do.

    The same way should be done in parenting. You’re right about noticing the good things that our kids do, than correcting them for their misbehavior.

  6. berryblitz says:

    Yes, that’s really effective. I am the “Do….” rather than the “Don’t…” on my little brother, when he’s still a toddler and a little child.

    But to my own son, I know it would be a different thing. A parent is more serious on things. So I hope I can still be the “Do…”

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