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Unspoiling Your Tween

by T Akery | March 20th, 2014 | Behavior, Tweens

credit card 2One of the difficulties of parenting is accepting that your child is growing up and is becoming independent. While parents want more for their kids than they have, there is a distinction between spoiling them and taking care of them. It is this line that sometimes get crossed in parenting. When this happens, it is often time to pull back the reins a little bit on what they are given so that they can learn some of the skills that they need to take with them in the future. As one recent case has shown, spoiling your child will not help them in the real world and can cause a great deal of grief.

You can start by evaluating how your Tween gets the things they have in their lives. This often includes an evaluation of how you handle the requests that your Tween asks of you. It is important during this evaluation to identify the things that they need and weigh it against the things that they want and already have. If the giving process for the things they want happens all one way, such as you giving into every request they make without demanding something in return, you are setting your Tween up for failure in the future.

It is important to remember that the world doesn’t work that way. A job will demand time and work in exchange for money. Stores will demand money in exchange for items. Even credit cards will demand interest in exchange for loaning you money to buy the things you want. There is always something that is going to be demanded for services rendered, even with volunteer work. Thus, this concept is something that your Tween needs to learn even though you are tempted to give in every single time they ask for something. Learning how the world works at an early age will help them prepare for the future. You can start by giving them opportunities to earn their money for things they want through chores or extra work.

Another opportunity that is often missed when you give in too much is letting them experience the pride of buying something for themselves that they earned themselves. It is a feeling that can be motivating for your Tween to get out there and do more. In a way, it also helps instill exactly how much time they have to sacrifice to earn the things that they want in life.

Giving them the latest game, iphone or clothing style isn’t really going to help your Tween deal with life very well. Part of being a parent is getting them ready to handle the world and the way it works. Sometimes, you will have to say no to things and draw the line. That’s what you are supposed to do as a parent. Spoiling your Tween at this age isn’t going to prepare them for what’s really out there. It isn’t too late to at this age to stop spoiling them.

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