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Tween Behavior Issues and Advice

by Kimberly Hays | February 4th, 2016 | Behavior, Tweens

poutingTweens are at a point where they are pushing for more independence, and that’s not a bad thing because we have to start letting them make some decisions for themselves. They will be leaving for college in a few short years. Having that in perspective, it is time to let them spread their wings, but negative behavior still needs to be dealt with, so the following are some of the top tween behavioral issues and some advice on dealing with them.

Tuning You Out and Just Not Listening

Tweens seem to get the idea that they sometimes know more than you, or they know better than you, so they just tune you out and don’t listen. Be sure to make eye contact with your tween, letting them know that they are looking at you when you are speaking to them, instead of just walking on by. When you do speak to your teen, do so in a calm manner. Nagging will just make matters worse and cause more tension between you.

Talking Back and Pouting

Tweens are notorious for both of these issues, and they tend to either get sassy or pout like it’s the end of the world if you correct them for doing so. Be sure to set firm boundaries on what is acceptable when having a discussion with them, and set a good example yourself. Teach them the value of not just listening to react, but to listen to understand what you are saying. Give them the same respect. Tweens sometimes lash out or pout out of frustration of not being able to explain their feelings.

Not Doing Their Chores

Chores are important because once they are on their own they will have to know how to take care of themselves. Plus there will be others in their life that will expect them to take on responsibilities, and they must follow through to be successful, like in college and when they get a job. Make sure there are repercussions for not doing what is expected of them, and stick to your guns. If they don’t take the trash out, remind them once, and if it isn’t done, then they get something taken away, like going to a friend’s house to spend the night.

Refusing to Attend Family Time

Some tweens stop wanting to spend time with their family, instead wanting to either spend all of their time with their friends or alone in their room watching movies or playing games online. This is completely normal behavior, and the best thing is to allow them to have some space to do those things, but also make it mandatory that they spend time with everyone else as a family. It can be a rule as simple as everyone has dinner together every night, or there is a particular night that everyone is there for time together at home, like watching a movie or playing games. Building those memories is important, and they will thank you for them when they get older.

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