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Having an Infant in the House will Solve Everything

by Joe Lawrence | August 4th, 2010 | Infants/Toddlers
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I came across an article the other day where someone stated having a baby might fix his relationship. After wiping the tears from my laughter, I wanted to reach through the monitor and slap him. He believed the problems with his wife would be solved by adding a baby. Unless your problem is your spouse demanding babies, a screaming, pooping, always hungry child getting into everything won’t solve anything.

My daughter is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, but parenting is stressful. Since my wife is still nursing, she hasn’t had a solid night of sleep in almost a year. Couple those raging hormones against my stubbornness and add one fussy teether and you have an atomic bomb! We’ve never fought so much in 12.5 years.

We have found ways to help though. First rule, Ephesians 4:26, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry…” My wife is an exploder and says things she really doesn’t mean. She blows up on the situation. I know she is venting, but I have thetendency to get defensive and shout back. This is something I can control and restrain myself to avoid falling to “sin” and saying something that can’t be taken back.

Then we do our best to not go to bed angry. After some time passes, we discuss the issue and even though it is not always solved we at least focus on the issue and stop attacking one another. Most of the time, we see to eye-to-eye and compromise on something.

Next rule, just sit on your hands a minute. This comes from my book, You Can’t Beat Me! Our first instinct when backed into a corner is to react. It is best to sit on our hands a minute and think of the best response, not just lash out at my wife. This gives me a minute to try and see where she is really coming from. I know she is not truly angry over me writing an article, so get to the core of the problem.

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