It won’t be long before your Tween turns into an independent adult. In order to encourage this growth, you do have to foster skills of independence. That doesn’t mean that you leave them completely alone without guidance. What this really means is that Mom and Dad no longer should be doing all the work for them. It means that they should start stepping up to help out so they can learn the skills to be independent, such as cooking, cleaning, doing their own laundry, and other things that will help them, when they are out on their own, to be strong adults.
Start by taking it one step at a time. Pick one skill such as learning to do laundry on their own. Don’t try to overload your Tween with a bunch of stuff at once because it will become frustrating to the both of you. They still have plenty of time to get the basics down before they leave the nest. So, take it one skill at a time and try not to overload them with trying to do too much at once.
Next, you want to pick a day that bests suits their busy schedule to learn things. Don’t try to cram in a cooking lesson when they have a ton of homework. After all, one of the skills they need to learn is how to prioritize the most important things. Instead, pick a time when you both have time to concentrate on the task ahead.
Don’t expect them to learn it all in one lesson. While they may pick it up quickly, it does help if they practice a few times before you leave them to do the task by themselves. When you do leave them on their own, let them do it without nitpicking. That, more than anything, will turn them off to learning. Instead, give them some freedom to do things their own way. If it is different from yours, it is perfectly fine as long as the task gets accomplished.
Praise them for their consistency. If they are doing this task on a regular basis without being reminded, don’t forget to say you appreciate the work that they are doing. They still need parental approval. Don’t be skimpy on the praise for how they are doing their job. Just like you want recognition at work, Tweens need recognition when they are consistently helping out and taking care of themselves.
While you don’t want your Tween to grown up too fast, they are old enough to handle some of the responsibility of taking care of themselves. So, take the time to encourage their skills so that they will become those independent adults you want them to be.