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Disagreeing With a Parent

by Jacob P. | April 11th, 2014 | Behavior, Teen Perspective, Teens

family-100671_640There are times in life when you will disagree with other people.  That is the nature of life, it happens.  If you never disagree with anyone else, you are going to spend your entire life getting pushed around or entirely lack opinions, both of which are bad.  However, as a child, it can be challenging to disagree with your parents.  Learning how to disagree with a parent is an important step of growing up.

Some parents may argue that the child should never disagree with the parent, I beg to differ.  Learning to disagree with a parent is important in teaching you to be independent and make decisions for your self as an adult.  So, you must learn how to disagree (and sometimes argue your case).

If you have an open dialogue with your parent, disagreeing with your parent is rather simple.  I have an open dialogue with one set of my parents, so it’s very easy to speak my mind.  If I disagree with something, I just tell them.  This doesn’t mean they are just going to bend to my will and change the way things are, but at least your opinion is recognized.  From here you can argue your case if you feel strongly about it.  While you aren’t guaranteed to win said argument, it’s not the worst possible scenario.  At least you try.  Just avoid breaking down communication or saying things you would regret.

If you have a limited dialogue, you need to be a little more careful.  A limited dialogue, in my opinion, is when the dialogue can vary from open to closed depending on the topic and context.  The majority of parents I know, including the other set of mine, are like this.  In this scenario, if you disagree, you can voice your opinion, but think before you do it.  If it isn’t something you feel strongly about, don’t do it.  There’s no point in risking punishment if it doesn’t matter.  On top of that, if you want to argue, prepare a solid case before you win.  The last thing you need is to be picked apart because you didn’t have a solid argument.

Finally, there is a relationship with closed dialogue.  In the case, parenting is almost always a one-way street.  This means that you need to pick the topics that you are going to disagree on very carefully.  The last thing you want to do is get grounded over something that doesn’t matter.  However, when you do find a topic that means a lot to you, prepare an excellent argument and hold your ground.  This may be your one opportunity to succeed, so go ahead with it.  If you find your one and only scenario, stick to it.  You may even earn the right to hold an opinion.

Disagreeing and arguing with parents can be hard, but it is an important part of growing up.  Just make sure that you are not irrational, rude, or detrimental to the relationship when disagreeing.

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