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Alpha and Omega 3D

by Ronald A. Rowe | September 24th, 2010 | Product reviews

Alpha and Omega is an animated offering that hit theaters this weekend. In the interest of thoroughness, I’m reviewing this film from four different angles – that of an intrepid reporter, aged 39 years; his two sons, ages 4 and 9; and his lovely wife, whose age is none of your concern.

Alpha and Omega is a love story. The plot and topic were more akin to a romantic comedy than a typical kids’ movie. For my part, I couldn’t help but wonder if someone had taken a failed script for a Jennifer Aniston movie and scratched out key words. Replace “high powered lawyer” with “alpha wolf”. Scratch out “meeting society’s expectations” and replace with “saving the pack”. Oh, and “sex” should now read “howling at the moon”.

I’ve never seen a children’s moving with so much sexual subtext. Not that it was over the top, but it was obviously there. I can only assume that the idea was to create a film that would appeal to both the kids and their parents. Alpha and Omega sadly fails on both fronts.

The four-year-old was bored silly. There was a whole lot of talking and flirting and being coy interspersed with the occasional butt joke. There just wasn’t anything there for him to take hold of.

The nine year old somewhat enjoyed the film. When I commented that this was the type of movie that we’d have forgotten about in a year, his response was “five months.” The story, the characters, the premise – it was all just entirely forgettable.

As for my lovely wife, the only member of our viewing/reviewing team who would be inclined to enjoy a romantic comedy, with or without talking wolves, she didn’t like it either. She was a little creeped out by the whole “howling at the moon” as a stand in for sex thing and uninspired by everything else. I expected the howl to pay off with an enjoyable musical number, but that never materialized.

I did spring for the 3D version, which was used to nice effect. There were some in-your-face-look-how-clever-we-are moments; but for the most part the 3D was the way it ought to be – to give depth to the images. Unfortunately, it could not give depth to the story.

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