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High Hopes and Misconceptions

by Joe Lawrence | July 19th, 2010 | Infants/Toddlers
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“Our daughter will never take a pacifier!” ”There is NO way she will sleep in the same bed as us.” ”I don’t care, I will just let him cry himself to sleep.” These are all phrases that I have said or have heard a close friend of mine say. In every instance, we were wrong.

Candidly, I thought raising my daughter would be a cinch. I figured she would be “trainable” like one of the military members I taught or even like a pet (I know that sounds terrible). However, it turns out they have minds of their own and little I say matters at this point in her 9-month-old brain.

We decided we didn’t want her to have the pacifier and I honestly don’t remember why now. She was given one in the nursery and she found comfort with it. We even successfully had taken it away from her at one point. However, when she began teething, we returned it to her.

The point is that it is very easy to talk a big game and about all of the things we will or won’t do in nurturing our children. It reminds me of when we were young and said what we wanted to be when we grew up. As life progresses, we change our minds, wants and even dreams to fit reality. This same process is present in parenting; although, the cycle is much faster.

When she is screaming and clearly in pain and I know that this tiny pacifier will grant her some peace while her teeth are tearing through her gums, it is almost inhumane to not cave. I know we can’t give our child what they want just because of some tears, but there are plenty of times when we have to put our high hopes aside.

For me I draw the line pretty well and my wife is even better at it than I am. If we know she is in pain, we do all we can to make her feel better. When she is just whining, she is on her own.

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