You can’t let projects get the better of you; it’s not worth the energy.  It doesn’t matter how much you just want to smash the project and start jumping on it, you can’t.  All that will do is cause more frustration.  And then you will just have to start again from square one, and do everything all over again.

When you’re at the maximum point of frustration, the best thing to do it step back, take a deep breath, and ask for help.  It doesn’t matter how much you don’t want to, you need to.  When you are frustrated you can’t always see straight.  And when you can’t see straight, you will most likely ruin your project in hopes of, what you think is, salvaging it from its depths of ruination.  Little do you know, it was already fine before and right now you are just making it worse.  And, if you ask for help, the person helping you could give you a better idea or perspective on your project, and help you succeed.  And isn’t that what everyone wants to do with their life?  Don’t you want to succeed?  I sure know I do.  So whether it’s science, math, or Spanish, remember that when that huge cloud of frustration blocks your view, you probably need someone to help you find your way.

Kids in the 5-to-6 year old range can easily handle the assembly part of the mat. However, kids younger than that may need some help with figuring out what pieces go where. It can get a little confusing if you have thrown the outer wrapping away because that is the only part that contains the picture. If you do buy this, consider keeping the actual picture of the puzzle. There might be some trouble with the border pieces as some of them do tend to look alike. But with a little trial and error, they should all fit.

The play area is a pretty decent size. It is certainly big enough for a six-year-old to roll around on. It also can accommodate three or four children comfortably with a few toys. Although, you may have a few arguments on which Disney Princess face they get to sit on.

The mat is waterproof but not gouge proof. It is fine with washable crayons but definitely stay away from  permanent marker because that will not come up from this surface.

You can reverse it if you want to, and it has pretty good padding if you want to borrow it from your kids to do Yoga or stretching.

The biggest issue with this particular play mat is one of storage. It does take up a significant amount of space even disassembled. So that should be taken into consideration if you have limited space for toy storage.

The other issue is that once you take it apart, it has to be reassembled. Yes, it is a puzzle — but that  still can be somewhat tiresome if your child wants to play on it continually.

It is best to wait until this goes on sale before you buy it. The retail price of about $15, depending on the store, is still a little too high for a Styrofoam mat even with the Disney Princesses on it.

The number one (non-medical) job of a parent when a child is ill can be distilled into one word: comfort.  Comfort foot, comforting words, comfortable arrangements.

Comfort Food – We all have a favorite comfort food that we crave when we get sick.  I like noodles with butter.  My wife is partial to “Jewish penicillin,” aka chicken soup.  My son craves french fries.  Salt seems to be the common denominator for most of the common comfort foods out there (why is that?).  Whatever it is, you’ll need to have plenty on hand for flu season.

Comforting Words – Nothing is as soothing to a sick child as his mother’s voice cooing words of solace.  Dads need to get in on the act, too, although it doesn’t come quite so naturally to most of us.  It may not do anything to actually speed up the healing, but it certainly makes the convalescence period more bearable for everyone involved.

Comfortable Arrangements – If your child is going to be laid up in bed for a few days, they’ll need a comfortable set up.  Getting antsy and trying to get up and about too soon is the leading cause of relapse, according to statistics that I just made up but am sure are true.

Bear in mind these three Comforts next time your child is ill and you’ll be ready for the first steps on the road to recovery.

But don’t despair if you are the parent of a newly minted teenager. Here’s why.

Maybe you noticed in the sentences I wrote above, I carefully selected the word “seem?” It just seems as if teens shut out parents; it seems as if they don’t listen to a parent’s opinions….get it? It’s all a façade, an act. Most teens still love and respect their parents. They still care what you think! In secret, they continue to like your jokes too.

In past posts, I’ve asked you to think back to your own youth. If you do this, you will understand the mind of your own teenager better. For example, when I was a teen, I vividly remember the struggle between wanting independence and fearing it at the same time. Learning to drive, taking college prep courses, and dating all provided me with ways to move towards the day I would have to leave my parents.

See? In many little ways, your own teen is working towards the day when he or she will fly the nest. They MUST learn to safely break away from you in order to become adults. By pretending that you are “lame,” and that you don’t know anything, they can assert independence in a safe manner.

This unique dynamic does present challenges, as it may SEEM as if your teen does not listen to you, but he or she does listen. That is why you still need to guide your child. According to WebMD, a parent must discuss important issues…“whether it’s drugs, driving, or premarital sex, your kids need to know the worst that could happen.”

Also, continue to share your day with your child, and wait patiently for him or her to share with you. It may not be right away, but your son or daughter will let you know what is going on, if you will just relax and give him or her a chance.

Another helpful piece of advice – refrain from embarrassing your child on purpose. Sometimes a parent with hurt feelings (from seemingly being left out of a child’s life) will do something silly just to make the teen mad. Actions such as kissing him or her in front of friends at school, or breaking into song at the dinner table when friends are present, will only backfire on you.

Take heart. The teen years do come to an end, and once on the “other side,” your child will return to the open person you once knew. Keep in mind that it’s not you causing a teen to seemingly withdraw; it’s a natural part of growing up…a necessary step on your child’s journey to adulthood.

Following up on lessons doesn’t have to add to your budget. There are things you can do at home with the stuff you already have. For example, for the letter of the week, have your child gather all his or her toys that start with that particular letter. You may have to help a little on the names of some of the toys.

Another thing you can do is to print out coloring sheets online. There are many places online where you can get free printable coloring pages. To save on paper, print those pages out on the back of paper that has been colored on one side, or paperwork that you don’t need. Just check the paper first to make sure it isn’t something important.

You can also take a walk outside and play a game of “I Spot” where they pick out items with the letter of the week. If you have a difficult letter such as W or V, instead set up a game of hide and seek. Hide pieces of paper with the letter on it and have your child search for the letter. Once they know that letter well, mix in other letters so that it is a bit more difficult.

You can use some of these same basic techniques with colors and number recognition. Just substitute the subject you are trying to reinforce.

These are just a few ideas to help your preschooler grasp the concepts that they need when they head toward kindergarten. Reinforcing the preschool lessons are important for ensuring that your preschooler can understand the material and retain it for future use.

What was my take away from this experience of having a feisty child? My spirited child grew into an independent teen, one that I can be proud of.

Let me explain. Now that Elizabeth is 14, I have found that what made her seem difficult as a child is really an asset. She has proven herself to be a leader at school, and she has already started to look at college entrance requirements. Unlike other teens, she is in tune to her own wants and needs, making her resistant to negative peer pressure. Her feistiness as a child has translated into self-assurance as a teen.

If you are currently the parent of a feisty 6 – 10 year old, take heart. Your child will probably grow to be the independent thinker my daughter grew to be.

But…how can you handle the “feistiness” now? Below are a few suggestions on how to handle a spirited child – without squashing the very trait that makes him or her unique.

Giving your feisty child choices can diffuse potential confrontations. Take hair  for example. Elizabeth went through a phase where she wouldn’t let me do a thing with her long, fine hair…even brushing it was a battle. So I gave her a choice – long hair, and I would have to work on it every day for five minutes, or short hair, and we could just run a comb through it in the morning.

Another way to “work with” a feisty child is to avoid situations where you know that they will fail. For example, I used to moderate many community events. At one such event, a domestic violence vigil, Elizabeth decided to break away from my parents who were in the audience and join me on stage! She was cute, but I was mortified my child was trying to be entertaining at such a solemn event. Needless to say, Elizabeth didn’t attend any more of my events until she was able to control herself.

Finally, having an infinite amount of patience is needed to handle a feisty child. You have to be patient while they complete tasks, as they always want to do it themselves. You have to be patient with their rigid food choices, even if that means mac and cheese for lunch most days. Basically, you have to be patient with their wish to control every aspect of their lives.

You may be thinking by now that Elizabeth was a spoiled child; however, this was not the case. I didn’t give in to her every demand; I made sure that what she thought was best –- really was what was best for her!

Most often, biting occurs when two children are playing together. It usually happens when one wants a toy the other one has and gets mad when the toy isn’t given to them immediately. As a result, the toddler applies their teeth. It is usually an expression of anger at a situation they don’t like.

While punishing them for biting immediately comes to mind, it is important to follow through with a one on one session designed to get toddlers to express their anger and stress how their actions have hurt the other person they were playing with. While the toddler may have an issue with sharing, you have to stress the importance of handling their anger first.

Thus, you need to show them creative ways in which to release their anger other than biting. It might be as simple as giving them a piece of paper and asking them to color how they feel or showing them how to walk away and go to a parent to say they are angry. You need to give them other tools than their teeth for expressing anger.

Another cause of biting is desire to gain your attention. It is hard to give them the time they need one on one when so many other things are going on around you. But if they are biting to get that attention, you need to carve out some time to address the issue. The solution may be as simple as a ten-minute coloring project or a thank you for helping out. Giving them praise for  good things they do, such as picking up toys, will divert them from using biting as a tool.

Addressing the issue behind the biting is part of the key to dealing with biting. If the problem is turning into something bigger than you can handle, don’t be afraid to get some help on this issue. It is important that you deal with the biting before it turns into a habit.

• Studying really depends on the individual.  I would never tell anyone they have to study before a test, because I almost never study for anything.  The only tests I have studied for since I entered high school are English and Spanish tests.  So, instead, I will suggest that you consider your own capabilities and then decide if you need to study or not.  No matter who you are, don’t embark on last minute cram sessions.  Although I’m not going to be the biggest advocate for studying for weeks prior to the test, last minute cramming is equally as dumb.  Your brain will need time to soak in the knowledge.
• Try to get a good night’s sleep the night before.  I am stressing the word try, because I know it can be hard to get one as a busy high school student.  The night before my first day of finals, I got home at 10:30 from a wrestling meet.  I didn’t fall asleep until midnight on that night.  At the same time, if you don’t have important things to do, don’t stay up late for no reason.
• Eat breakfast.  First of all, note that I said eat breakfast, not eat a good breakfast.  I personally don’t eat anything special on final days, I just eat whatever I usually eat.  I always eat breakfast, but for those who don’t always, you should.  It will help keep you focused and energized.  If you don’t eat breakfast, you will be distracted by hunger.  Also, be careful with energy drinks.  Make sure whatever you drink won’t result in you crashing in the middle of the test.
• Chew gum before or during the test.  I personally chew a lot of gum, especially during test.  Well, it seems to have paid off.  According to WebMD, researchers have found that gum can help test scores:  “In the study, researchers compared the effects of chewing gum before or during various testing situations in a group of about 80 undergraduate students.  The results showed students who chewed gum for five minutes before a test performed better than those who didn’t. But the benefits of chewing gum were short-lived, lasting only about 15 to 20 minutes into the test.”

Whenever you (or your child) are preparing for finals, feel free to keep these tips in mind.  Just don’t do a last minute cram session on these tips…

We went because this year’s headliner is a band called Skillet which just so happens to be my son’s current favorite. Skillet put on an amazing show, complete with moving platforms, a spinning drum rig, and enough pyrotechnics to satisfy any 11 year old. But that was just the cap on an incredible six-hour extravaganza.

Admission to the show is an unbelievably low $10 at the door. The only way to buy advance tickets is to join the “Jam Nation”. For fifty bucks, you get early admission, a t-shirt, a lanyard, and a discount on tour merchandise. If you can swing the extra money, it is well worth it. While the main show started at 6:00, we entered the building at 3:30 and chose prime seats right by the stage. While the others were still waiting outside in the cold, we were enjoying an intimate Q&A session with some of the artists from the tour. Pre-Jam, featuring three of the lesser-known, up-and-coming acts from the tour, started at 5:00, just as the doors opened and thousands upon thousands of chilled fans poured into the arena.

WinterJam isn’t your parents’ Christian music. I’m sure chiropractors across the region are seeing extra patients with neck problems from all the head banging that went on. There was screaming and fire and hard rocking and all the good stuff that comes with a serious rock concert. But civility reigned in a way that is hard to imagine in a group of sixty thousand–plus people. Lines were orderly. Nary a four-letter word filled the air. Even the traffic leaving the arena proceeded in an abnormally polite and orderly fashion.

WinterJam is a wonder experience for kids and adults. I wouldn’t suggest bringing any children under age 10 or so because of the extreme volume of the music and the extended length of the day. The family behind us had two children in the 5-7 range and I’m certain both parents and children regretted it. But for a safe, fun, uplifting experience you would have a hard time finding a better bang for your ten bucks than WinterJam.

(U.S. Army photo — Korey Cooper of Skillet)

My oh my, how the years fly. On, August 21, 2008, I posted my very first article on Your Parenting Info from the teen perspective. I remember the article clearly, as if I wrote it yesterday, though it was nearly three and half years ago. This post will be my 46th and final post on YPI from the teen perspective; I’m turning 20 later this month!

Saying farewell to the YPI community gives me a lot to think about. Do I still agree with my perspective three years ago? What do my posts say about how I’ve changed? It’s been quite an experience, getting a chance to analyze actions my parents have made, for better or for worse. Who would have thought that there would be an audience other than my sister who would listen to a teen’s perspective on different aspects of parenting?

My first article, “How Far is Too Far?” was about the adverse effects of severely restricting “unhealthy food” in one’s household. I grew up in a household where soda and candies were regarded as treats that we could have on special occasions, and I still feel the same way; I don’t go out and buy cookies for dinner, even though I could. I wrote about a friend who was raised in a household where junk foods were completely banned, and how I thought that this was a terrible idea. At the time, my friend would splurge on junk foods whenever he got the chance outside of his house, a bad consequence of a complete restriction. However, I’ve also met people in college who don’t eat junk foods at all, because that was how they were raised (like my other friend) and they feel no reason to stray from their norm. So now I’ve seen results on both ends of the spectrum. The only thing that is truly clear is that parenting is not an exact science.

Over the years I’ve commented on many family matters: allowances, bedtime, family dinners, and volunteering. My articles also form a rough timeline for my most recent teen years (college visits, prom, college decisions, getting a dog, being a college athlete, etc.).  In April 2010 I posed my situation of choosing which college to attend. I don’t think I ever mentioned that I eventually chose Option C, and halfway through my sophomore year, I couldn’t be happier and have no regrets!

I can’t believe my teen years are coming to a close! It’s been a pleasure, writing from the teen perspective here on YPI.

All the best,

Louise