With a soon-to-be 13 year old in the house, there have started to be some discussions about bedtimes. On school nights, bedtime doesn’t tend to be an issue. He is in bed at 8:30 but can read until 9:00, or later if he can’t sleep. The 8-1/2 to 9 hours of sleep he receives seems to be enough, as he is ready to go in the morning, and he doesn’t mind this time.
However, the discussions have been based on weekend bedtimes. With younger siblings, bedtimes are extended, and all are sent to bed at a later than school night bedtime. And that is where the problem lies. The typical argument is, “But I am the oldest!”
While this is true, the next two youngest are only 1 and 2 years younger than he. However, both of them need more sleep than he does. So, my husband and I have been pondering how to handle this situation.
With weekends being short, bedtime on those nights will be decided by us. Just one very late night on a weekend can affect tiredness during the week. However, to give him both responsibility and freedom, we are going to try something different in the summer.
Our plan simply is that he can choose his bedtime. . .with a catch or two. He needs to choose a time that allows him to be productive the next day, and he can’t be so stubborn about staying up “late” that he falls asleep on the couch. This will give him the freedom of deciding his own bedtime, but he will be responsible for the consequences. If he doesn’t pay attention to the needs of his body and falls asleep on the couch, for the next week, we get to choose his bedtime. Additionally, if we need to do something early the next morning and he has difficulty being ready, again we get to choose his bedtime for a week.
I am hopeful that this will be a win-win for both sides of the equation. Our son will get to be in control of his bedtime, but we will have a supervisory role when needed. It seems that it should be a winning solution, but only time will tell.
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