In the past years, New Year’s Eve has had one of the highest pregnancy rates.  By that I mean that it is one of the likeliest days that women get pregnant.  Women and girls forget all the prepping they have gotten on having safe sex.  They completely forget to use condoms and, a fair amount of the time, they forget to take their birth control.  Which is very terrible because if it is not taken every single day, at almost the exact same time, it is very unlikely to work as well as if you did do that.  If you skip one day of birth control, the chances of pregnancy go from about 2% to about 25%.

Alcohol poisoning.  New Year’s Eve is one of the worst nights for alcohol poisoning.  All the miserable, lonely, single people who think this day is worthless because they are alone go to the bars and drink until they can’t see straight.  They then start feeling queasy so they go to the bathroom.  Where they then pass out and self-asphyxiate on their own vomit.  Do you realize how few people actually realize they are choking and wake up, just barely saving themselves from death?  Very few people.

Also, driving while under the influence.  That too is very dangerous.  Not only can you injure yourself, you can hurt the people around you and the people around you that you don’t know.  It is so dangerous to drive while intoxicated.  Not to mention illegal.

Now, I don’t want to end on a sad note.  So to sum up this “lecture” on the dangers of New Year’s Eve. I want to tell you that this night isn’t all dangers, it is also filled with good natured, loving fun.  Here is my advice, stay home and surround yourself with friends.  And if you are under 21 don’t drink, it is dangerous and illegal.  So as long as you are careful, enjoy yourself.  As a teenager I love this night, it is one of my favorite holidays.  And that is because I follow my own advice.

Diapers – check…layette – complete…crib – ready.

Then, maybe during the night, when you’ve finally settled yourself into a comfortable sleep, or maybe during the day, as you reach for a file at work, your water breaks. Or you get a phone call or text from your loved one, her contractions have started. It is time, time to welcome a new person into your life.

You are ready, but have you truly prepared yourself for the always exciting, never-ending, completely exhausting, and utterly rewarding role of parent?

Check out my breakdown of the word – parent – below. I don’t know you personally, but I do know the following advice will come in handy as you embark on the fabulous journey of being a mom or dad.

P – Patience.
Making the transition to parent requires extreme patience. I guarantee there will be times when you feel that you’ve reached the end of your rope. Maybe you haven’t slept in what seems like days, or you don’t feel well, but remain patient with your infant. Soon, the grueling days will end, and you will be rewarded in ways you never imagined.

A – Acceptance.
Your baby has colic – accept it! Breastfeeding didn’t work out – accept it! He or she can’t sit up yet, but your friend’s baby who is the same age can – accept it! Life throws you curve balls, little snags you don’t expect. The faster you learn to accept reality, and cherish the amazing child you have, the better! Accept the baby, and accept yourself.

R – Rest. This means you! Both mom and dad need plenty of rest the first month after baby is born. You’ve probably heard this advice before, but it must be heeded. Rest when you can; being a parent is physically and mentally exhausting.

E – Enjoy.
Try not to take yourself too seriously at this special time. Baby will be fine. Not every decision is monumental. Sometimes new parents strive for perfection, instead of just enjoying their new little one. The first year of life literally zooms by, so don’t waste a moment being too hard on yourself.

N – Nurture.
Of course you will nurture your newborn. Don’t forget to nurture yourself and your relationships as well. Depending on your personality, you may only need a quick trip to the store to recharge your batteries, or you may need one night of uninterrupted sleep in order to feel better, but do nurture yourself. And make time to be a couple.

T – Trust.
Trust your instincts when it comes to your son or daughter. Only a parent knows what is best for his or her baby. You will receive both wanted and unwanted advice, so prepare yourself to implement useful information and to discard outdated or unwanted notions.

Congratulations – you are a parent!

During those two or three days of facing the possibility that she was pregnant, we talked a lot about how to make some adjustments so that the baby would fit in nicely with our plans. We even started to introduce our four year old son to the possibility of him becoming a big brother. He got excited about it but also thought about the new baby being the focus of our attention and no longer him who enjoyed it in the last four years. I explained to him that the love we give him does not diminish even if a dozen new babies come. We involved him in the “preparation” of the baby’s arrival (though it was too early to prepare for that), we let him help in choosing a name for the baby. Our son really got into it, we saw the excitement in his eyes.

When my wife’s period finally arrived, we were torn between the feeling of relief and the feeling that we’d lost something; it was as if we’d lost a baby. I know that it was also what our son felt although he did not know how to put it into words.

There are those who suggested foods to eat, things to drink and things to do.  I have looked into many of them, and it would appear there is no solid evidence suggesting that any one works better than the other.  Let me start with eating spicy food.  Science shows spicy food gets the digestion process stimulated and could jump-start the labor process.  The same thing goes for castor oil.  It can start contractions because of the increased activity in the bowels.

Some people have even suggested a glass of wine.  Believe it or not, there are those who suggest alcohol during this time.  Not to go get drunk, but to have ONE glass in order to relax.  Stress can prolong the process, which leads to massage and acupuncture.  These also help reduce stress and relax the muscles.  Many massage therapists claim there are certain trigger points in the body that may stimulate certain muscles as well.  Acupuncture also does the same.  Simple Google searches display certain pressure points to work.

Many other people suggest intercourse.  This is one is my personal favorite and actually has some scientific merit.  Two chemicals, oxytocin and prostaglandins, are produced.  Both are chemicals that doctors use to start contractions.  Intercourse goes about it in a natural way.

My favorite suggestion was by my wife’s grandparents.  They started labor by driving down a bumpy road.  Every time I hit a bump, I get a chuckle picturing them years ago.

I am hoping for labor any day now, but just in case…what suggestions do you have to help get things moving?  What worked for you? Tweet me www.twitter.com/joeylaw.

I read an article that suggested writing a letter to your unborn child about expectations and what you think it will be like to meet him or her for the first time.  As a writer, I decided to take it one step further and keep a journal.  My first entry is from the day my wife told me she was pregnant.  I was gone on trip to fix a cargo plane.  It was supposed to only be a two day trip and turned out  to be over a week long.  She learned we were expecting the night I left and held it in for a couple days hoping I would be home soon.  However, Uncle Sam kept finding more work for our team and delayed us.  She burst out with excitement one night over the phone.

That is a story I hope our child learns about.  I would love to know how my parents came up with my name?  What other names did they kick around?  What if I had been a girl?  These are all things they could recall, but exactly how vividly?  I am the youngest of five, and I have over twenty cousins.  I am sure a detail or two has been forgotten.

A journal of doctor’s visits and other big things that happen are things I love to document.  Since it is an electronic file on my computer, I even have added pictures of my wife as time goes by and her baby-bump grows and all of the ultrasound pictures we have.

Any suggestions on how to share this with our child one day?

Recently, my wife had an ultrasound done at her midway point.  Sadly, I couldn’t be there to experience it because I am sweating it out in the desert.  However, she sent me tons of pictures that the technician had taken.  It is so amazing seeing the little toes and fingers.  I am jealous I couldn’t have been there to see the little one wiggle around.

We do not want to find out the gender until the big day mainly because we would be discovering the news separately but also because we are a bit old-fashioned and want to experience the surprise.  Some people label learning the gender as cheating…I disagree, just not for us.

Another form of “cheating” in the baby arena is the 4D pictures you can receive.  These pictures are awesome in that you can see numerous details of your forming child.  They show birth defects like too many fingers or toes.  Thousands of other things can be determined by these images.

After posting one of these pictures on my Facebook account, I had a friend subtly call me a cheater.  She said that these pictures are close resemblances to how the baby will look when born.  I have seen some taken close to the delivery date, and I agree to a point.  Using the gift of hindsight, I could see some features that appeared in the 4D.  However, I never would have pictured the child’s actual appearance by viewing these images.

It is like looking back at people’s childhood photos and picking out features from their youth.  You can see how they got their current look by looking back on these.  If you were to look at this same picture without seeing the adult version, you would never picture the person’s appearance.

Therefore, I believe that I am not cheater.  What do you think?

Recently, my wife completed her twentieth week of pregnancy.  The halfway point.  We currently are looking into the vaccine uproar.  Many people are claiming that the rise in autism and other childhood diseases are increasing and have increased greatly since the trend of getting vaccines from birth.

I never gave a second thought to the whole debate until I was prepping for this deployment that I am undergoing.  Yearly, Uncle Sam requires me to get a multitude of vaccines.  Before a deployment, I am required to get vaccines for the possible diseases and enemy threats I may face.  Usually, we receive a handful of vaccinations at the same time.

I am almost always drained the next day.  When I went to Iraq, I got lots of shots including Anthrax and Smallpox.  I had no energy and was in bed for a few days.  It makes me sad to think a baby will go through the same thing.  I am 6 foot 1 and walk around at 190 pounds.  These shots kick my butt.  What about a ten pound child?

Newborn babies get a Hepatitis B shot right out of the womb.  It is the same exact dose that I receive as an adult.  According to the CDC, over ten vaccinations are delivered within the first year of life.  I know some are needed, but I am sure that all of them are not required to have a normal, healthy baby.

This is still one of those controversial topics with many valid arguments.  It is very scary to be forced with such decisions, and many of us just trust what doctors say.  I try to live by the Reagan, “Trust but verify,” thought process.

Currently, I am leaning towards the safe-side but am still very open minded.  Does anybody have some good resources that support either side of this debate?

Each week my wife and I get emails showing the progress of our child’s development.  Recently, we just hit week 17 and learned that our baby’s toenails are growing.  It is amazing learning all of the changes the baby and my wife are undergoing.  Discovering this growing miracle together has brought us even closer together.

We are now focusing on a deeper bond.  Together we have been entrusted this child to love and raise together.  Somehow this has brought a lesson I have known for years to light.  This is the lesson of Ephesians.  I am not going to preach at you, just teach you a universal lesson that happens to be in the Bible.

Ephesians 5:22 and on discusses how wives and husbands should treat each other.  The first lesson is for wives to submit to their husbands.  This is not submission as we think but rather respect.  Men need respect.  We men are wired to want respect.  When we were kids and another picked on us or called us a chicken we were ready to fight.  Now when our wives hen-peck us, we translate that as disrespect.

Men are to love their wives as Christ loved us.  Women are geared with the need to be loved.  They want to know that their feelings will be understood and reciprocated.  By understanding and displaying empathy for the emotions they feel and wanting to be there with them makes women feel loved.

Our pregnancy has taught me the truth of this lesson.  I want to learn and understand every little thing that is going on with my wife and with my developing child.  I love her.  She includes me in all decisions and values my opinion.  She respects me.  We are now even closer.

I’ve been in the military for almost eleven years and have spent numerous years away from wife (while we were still dating) and even a few months right after saying, ‘I do.’ None of that time apart stung as much as this.

It is a great honor to me that God trusted my wife and me with a child.  I want to do the best job I can and leaving was not even an option.  However, I believe that this time away is for a purpose.  I still have no clue what or why, but I can see my wife getting stronger as the days pass by.

For me, the heartbeats I hear and the pictures I have give me a sense of purpose.  Just coming on this trip forced me to prepare for every tiny little detail.  I know that being a daddy will take lots of preparation.  Forecasting funds for college education, planning family vacations, making sure the diaper bag is stocked.

Planning and details always have been a weakness of mine.  This trip has forced me to grow up in this area of my life.  I really wonder what other areas of current deficiency will be tested over the coming months and years.

For the first time in my adult life, I have a sense of purpose.  A calling that has nothing to do with me.  No longer am I trying to improve myself for me but for my child.  I want to ensure that every ‘swoosh’ is from the heart of a child who is loved.

Are there any testimonies out there of how you grew as parents?  Things that were once weaknesses but are now strengths.  Areas you never even thought about but now focus on daily.

I thought the most exciting moment of my life would be the day I met my wife.  Then I thought is was the day we were married and then the day we found out we were expecting.  I was wrong.  It was February 20, 2009.  This was the day I saw the first glimpse of my child.

We went for an ultrasound and were able to see a jelly bean looking thing that was flickering at us.  The technician explained to us what we were looking at right then.  The mass of cells was our baby, and the flickering was the heart beating.

My wife and I were practically in tears seeing this miracle unfold before our very eyes.  It is fair to say that I am not an emotional guy and yet this struck the strings of my heart.  I can not imagine how anyone seeing this could think of this forming child as anything less than a crying, pooping, talcum powdered bundle of joy.

Honestly, I used to look at friends who would print these pictures out and show them off as weirdos.  I was excited for them and understood the emotion of happiness and pride.  There were even daydreams of the day I would be in their shoes.  Never once did I think it would be so exciting to see a blurb on a computer screen. I was wrong again.

From that day forward my whole perspective on life has changed.  My goals and priorities have shifted.  My wife is going to be a fantastic mommy.  She is gifted with deep compassion and natural instincts.  I am not.

Knowing my weaknesses, I have spent hours reading websites and listening to audio books about parenting.  I am a realist and know that book knowledge alone will not raise a child.  Experience and knowledge are what create the wisdom needed.

Do any of you parents have suggestions for me?  What are your tricks for deciding what principles to teach and raise them by?  What if you and your spouse disagree in certain areas?  What other tips (in general) can you offer a rookie?