If you just had your first baby, there are countless celebrations in his or her future, such as baptisms, naming ceremonies, and birthdays. Whatever religious and cultural traditions you follow, you will soon invite family and friends to your home to help celebrate your precious little one in a number of ways. Successful party planning should include a consideration of the following.

1. Include Introductions

Make sure to introduce your guests to one another. Of course you know everyone, but think about your aunt or uncle who may be hard of hearing – meeting new people may be difficult for him or her. Also think about your friend from work that you adore, and who was brave enough to attend your party, but who is also painfully shy. Try your best to make sure she has someone to talk to.

Recently I attended a party after a baptism. It proved quite stressful, as the host and hostess – both quiet and shy people – failed to introduce me to anyone. Being a person who hates awkward silences, I overcompensated by becoming the “life of the party.” I know it may sound strange, but if you hate making introductions, consider cute name tags. Save guests (like myself) from making a fool of him or herself!

2. Consider Other Children

Invariably, other children will attend the many celebrations you will host for your baby. To avoid hurt feelings, make sure that each child feels like part of the party. You don’t have to go overboard, but simple treat bags at birthday parties or coloring books and crayons can make your youngest guests happy.

My saddest party memory happened when my children, at the time 10, 9, and 4, were not made part of the celebration at their cousin’s bat mitzvah. I felt terrible that they had made it through the lengthy ceremony, only to be excluded from the kids’ table at the restaurant. Not only that, other young guests received gifts, while my own children did not. Of course my brother and his wife had every right to choose how to celebrate their daughter’s special day, but to purposely exclude a specific group of children seemed quite cruel.

3. Remember, Your Guests Are Hungry!

Sometimes, parties occur after a religious or cultural ceremony. Because of this, consider when you serve food. If your guests have attended a morning service, they will be hungry once they arrive at your home. I’m not saying that all parties must include food, but some type of snack, including a beverage, will be appreciated by your guests. Another food issue you may want to consider concerns guest who may be vegan or on a diet. To make sure they have something to eat, include simple offerings, such as fresh fruit and salad.

4. Relax and Enjoy

A key component to a successful party for an infant or toddler is a relaxed and smiling host and hostess. Have fun! If you act stressed, your guests will be uncomfortable. Don’t sweat the small mishaps (like colic); just enjoy your company, and your wonderful child.

Silly Bandz are not meant for kids who are under the age of 3. These little plastic rubber bands can be easily swallowed. Because they are so small, they can be easily lost on floors where toddlers play. Even with their bright colors, they can be very hard to spot and keep away from little hands.

They are very hard to just vacuum up. They can wrap themselves around vacuum cleaner rollers and reduce your vacuum cleaner’s suction power. A large clump of them can clog hoses.

Aside from these general complaints, they do have some redeeming features. They make great party favors. This is because they come in small packages and can be found at stores for a low price.  They are also seen as collectible items but they aren’t worth more than retail value as of yet. They can also be placed in stockings or added to birthday presents for a little added surprise.

Kids do love them, although  girls will generally favor these little bracelets over boys. Most shapes do cater to girls.

The Silly Bandz come in animal shapes, common everyday items, princess items, and recent movie or television show characters. The more unusual shapes are found on their website rather than at the store. The rarer shapes will cost more than the ones typically found at the store.

They are thin rubber bands so they can break very easily even after one use. The typical Silly Bandz won’t last very long. But unless they are broken, they will bounce back into their original shape.

As a parent, I think this is an iffy product. Kids like them and they are cheap. They are quick and easy gifts to give away. But they are not toddler friendly and they can get lost very easily. It is a product you want to pass up if you have young children and pets who like to eat things they shouldn’t. If you want a cheap party favor for a birthday or as a prize for a birthday game, then these will work well.

Roller rinks haven’t changed much in the last 25 years. In fact, I don’t think this particular rink has been cleaned or disinfected in roughly that amount of time. The food is just as overpriced as it ever was. If possible, the quality has gotten worse than it was when I was a kid (although that may be glamorizing the ‘good old days’. It surely hasn’t gotten any better.

I don’t remember learning to skate. I thought all kids just put on a pair of skates and took off. Watching my son and his pals stomp around the rink, I now know that is not the case. I can skate, or at least I used to be able to skate, but I’m not going to now. I exhausted my fatherly lessons on how to skate in the first few minutes (there are only so many ways to say “glide” and “watch how that boy is doing it”.)

The entertainment value for your dollar is intermediate. The kids are definitely enjoying themselves for their six bucks a pop. Better and cheaper than sitting in a theater staring at a glorified giant TV for two hours. The three bucks it cost me for the right to sit here wouldn’t be so bad if there were an available table or at least a chair a safe distance from the chaos on the skating floor. Instead I’m working an insanely dangerous eight inches away from a hundred pre-teens that can barely walk without causing massive calamity, much less skate with any degree of control.

The bottom line: a night at the skating rink should be reserved only for occasional – very occasional – special events or those times when it is Mom’s turn to take the kids out for the evening.

There are some distinct advantages to the passing of such parties.  I no longer have to spend countless hours creating these crafts and games, shopping for the materials, and finding just the right party favors.  There is a lot less hands-on time required during the parties also.

However, as my now 12 year old daughter and I began planning her birthday party, I realized that a lack of crafts and games equals a lot of free time for this group.  Don’t get me wrong, they’re all good kids, but with them arriving at 4:00 and staying until the next morning at 11:00, having nothing scheduled seemed to be not that great of a plan.   After mulling different options, we decided on bowling and pizza.

Having hosted this party, I have a few pointers for other parents:

• Plan some event or activity for the party.
• Be a participant, albeit a quiet one.  Hanging out with the girls while they bowled and ate pizza, I was able to learn a lot about them.
• Give them a little space. For example, once they are settled in bed, don’t try to set a “go to sleep” time.
• But give them rules.  As long as the girls were quiet and in their room, they could stay awake as late as they wanted.
• Have set drop-off and pick-up times, so the party doesn’t become a lengthier event than you planned.
• Involve the birthday child in decisions, such as the activity, the menu, the schedule.
• Make the party a lesson in budgeting.  Just because your child gets to help choose the activity doesn’t mean that he/she gets whatever is requested.  Explain how much you are willing to spend, and have him/her work with you to make it happen.

There are many benefits to having kids get together with friends.  First of all, this helps kids build social skill that they will need throughout life.  Secondly, friends are fun, and life should be a fun experience.  Finally, well…friends are friends.  Period.

Now, to get together with friends, you have to make them.  The making of friends should start at age three or four.  Before that, children play next to each other, not with each other.  Once they begin playing together on a regular basis as preschoolers, kids are more likely to make regular friends. Keep in mind that who your child considers to be a “friend” will likely change very often until he or she gets older.  Eventually, as teen, kids will hang out several times a week with one or more of a group of friends.

Now, some kids have trouble making friends.  Some are just shy or quiet, while others have more serious problems.  Some kids are overly aggressive, bossy, and the likes, while some may have selective mutism (talks only to his or her family).  To help them, talk to other parents, and make plans with kids he or she likes.  Don’t push him or her, though, as he/she may be frightened.

Now, onto getting together with friends.  At my age, this can be very spur of the moment, but for younger kids, less so.  In the case of younger kids, the parents probably should coordinate, so it will go more smoothly.  After school is a good time to play, as are weekends (other plans permitting).  When kids get older (twelve), letting them plan is good, as they need to learn how to do so.  At this age, sleepovers will be common, as will be going to places like the movies, haunted houses, and more.  Expect some randomness, too, as a hangout may turn into a trip to the movies or a sleepover.

On a final note, don’t expect your child always to want to hang out with his or her family, because friends are important!

Your child is growing up, so let there be friends!

There are a lot of things you shouldn’t do, so here is my list of don’ts:

1. 1. Don’t ever, ever make a big deal about saying good bye, love you or anything like that when your child gets out of the car. He will be very embarrassed and mad at you!  Especially middle school girls, they are so dramatic!
2. 2. Never fuss over your child, she wants to feel independent, dances are an independence thing.
3. 3. Don’t chaperone, that is really awkward for the teen or tween.  Also, a lot of schools don’t have parents chaperone.   At my school, teachers do all the chaperoning.
4. 4. Don’t worry about you child’s safety.  This is a middle school dance, not a heavy metal concert with a mosh pit.  Also, many schools have a police officer there.
5. 5. If you are worried about rude music, don’t.  Most schools play edited versions and are selective.  There will be some rude lyrics, but if you think you child doesn’t listen to any rude music, think again.

Here are some things you should do:

1. 1. You should help out with his or her outfit, especially if your teen or tween is a girl.  My sister was freaking out about her outfit a week before the dance!
2. 2. Give him food money, because going to a dance and not getting to eat or drink is uncool (trust me).
3. 3. Be nice about it, don’t tease or make fun of her, that’s just mean, and some kids are self-conscious about things like that.

Dance are a big deal for middle school kids, so let them have fun and don’t be controlling.  It’s all in good fun!

Pumpkin picking and decorating: Get a few parents to help you carpool the children to a nearby farm. Then, let them each pick out a pumpkin of their own. (To avoid spending too much, mention a maximum weight or show them an example of the perfect size.) At home, have some decorating supplies (paint, glitter, glue, googly eyes), and you’ll have many decorated pumpkins that can double as party favors. Older kids could try carving the pumpkins, too.

Corn maze: Search online for a nearby corn maze. Depending on the number of invitees there are, you can split the party into smaller groups and make it a competition, but it helps to keep everyone a winner.

• Root beer making: One of my favorite birthday parties was when my parents took a group of friends and me to Incredibrew, and we made our very own root beer! We got to design the labels ourselves, and each friend got a pack of four to take home and enjoy.
• Autumn-related mini-games: To supplement a party, you could fill a jar with candy corn and allow the guests to make a guess when they enter. Whoever makes the closet guess wins the jar! You also could have a contest to see how many words each child can make from P-U-M-P-K-I-N P-I-E or S-C-A-R-E-C-R-O-W. How about a round of pin-the-nose on the jack-o-lantern or pin-the-stem on the apple? And don’t forget the classic, bobbing for apples, but make sure the apples are sized relative to the guests. It may be impossible for a 5-year-old to pick up the same apple that would be the perfect challenge for a child that is a few years older.
• Costume party: Last but not least, if the birthday is close enough to Halloween one of the greatest sources of fun can be when the guests show up in costumes. Let them have a fashion show or a story-telling contest about their characters!