You can’t let projects get the better of you; it’s not worth the energy.  It doesn’t matter how much you just want to smash the project and start jumping on it, you can’t.  All that will do is cause more frustration.  And then you will just have to start again from square one, and do everything all over again.

When you’re at the maximum point of frustration, the best thing to do it step back, take a deep breath, and ask for help.  It doesn’t matter how much you don’t want to, you need to.  When you are frustrated you can’t always see straight.  And when you can’t see straight, you will most likely ruin your project in hopes of, what you think is, salvaging it from its depths of ruination.  Little do you know, it was already fine before and right now you are just making it worse.  And, if you ask for help, the person helping you could give you a better idea or perspective on your project, and help you succeed.  And isn’t that what everyone wants to do with their life?  Don’t you want to succeed?  I sure know I do.  So whether it’s science, math, or Spanish, remember that when that huge cloud of frustration blocks your view, you probably need someone to help you find your way.

My ten-year-old son is a fearless public speaker.  He’ll get up in front of a crowd, any crowd, and speak.  Or sing.  Or play his trumpet.  Or pretty much anything you ask him to do.  He’ll hop up on stage with precious little preparation, without the slightest sign of nerves.

So recently I set out to discover why, be it nature or nurture,  Max is so at ease on the stage.  His mother, my lovely wife, is a rambler.  Give her a microphone and she’ll go on well beyond the point she meant to make.  But she’s a tremendous singer who has spent a lot of time on stage.  I speak frequently, but I still get nervous in front of a crowd of more than about 25 or so.  Despite my nerves, I do find myself speaking in front of a crowd fairly often – occupational hazard.

After some reflection, I think I have decoded the accidental formula that led to his fortuitous speaking ability.  I share it here in hopes that it may help others more intentionally develop this trait in their children.

Step One: Do some public speaking of your own.  We all know that children learn a whole lot more from what they see us do than what we tell them to do.  Because I have to speak in front of crowds from time to time, Max sees it as just another part of adult life.

Step Two: Start them early.  Because of our work with youths, my lovely wife and I are often throwing together talent shows or promotional videos or assorted skits.  And we often find ourselves a character short.  So from an early age we’ve been drafting Max into one role or another in front of people.

Step Three: Offer plenty of encouragement.  This applies to just about anything that you want you children to learn.  Positive reinforcement is a huge deal to children.  You are his or her hero.  Your approval means more to a young child than all the accolades and toys and chocolate bars in the world.

Given the small sample size, I can’t offer much in the way of guaranteed results.  But if you follow these few steps you will surely improve your child’s chances of become a confident and skilled public speaker.

A computer and USB port is required to load the books onto the Tag system. The books have to be set-up and loaded before you use the system. It does connect to the online program where your child earns rewards to be printed out. It should be noted, that you will have to set up an account before you can load up the pen.

There are some books that are available online — although your child might do better by having the book in front of them, rather than listening to the story through the pen. It’s also easier to play games with the books handy.

For parents, the download and reward demands can be a hassle. The reward thing is especially annoying since it keeps popping up. There should be a way to disable it,  since not everyone is keen on printable bookmarks.

The other issue was the price of the actual books. Even on clearance, they can be quite pricey. At over ten dollars a book when on clearance, you won’t be tempted to buy too many of them to go with the system. Of course, prices on the books do vary depending on location and store.

Kids do love the system though. They do like holding the pens and listening to the stories being told to them. The pen is a natural fit in their little hands. It is also easy for them to hold and use. If there are siblings, they will fight over the pen.

The price for the pen itself is fairly reasonable at under $30.  Again, this is dependent on where you live and what store you go to. However, throwing in a few books can put this gift well above the $50 range.

If you plan on it as a Christmas gift, you will want to open the package and put the books onto the system before Christmas Day. The other thing is to inform family members so they can pick up a book or two for your child.

The best way to alleviate your worry is to volunteer to go on the field trip with your child. Take the time off from work to go on the field trip. Usually, you will know far enough ahead of time to put in for the time off. Just make certain that the preschool knows that you are volunteering — otherwise, you may not be able to join them.

If you are worried about transportation, consider asking the school to let you drive your child to the designated destination. You must let the preschool know that your child is participating and that you intend to drive them. Otherwise, your child might not be allowed to participate in the activity.

Don’t let your worry about the field trip become your child’s worry. Once this happens, they might hesitate to even go. This can pose a problem for you and the preschool. Usually, this ends up in your child going home with you instead of on a brand new adventure.

If you can’t go, ask another trusted parent to keep an eye on your child for you. Consider asking the teacher to pair your child up with the trusted parent’s child. This can alleviate some of your worries about who else is supervising.

Preschools have a responsibility to see that your child is safe on a field trip. It can get a little difficult for parents because this is another one of the firsts that children face while in preschool. But there are some things that you can do to alleviate that worry.

His understanding was that you had to be married to have children, and then God would say “OK, you get a baby”. As we sat in his darkened bedroom, my mind ran in two completely separate directions at the same time. While my mind whirred with activity, pressed to respond in the most fatherly wisdom-filled manner possible, the two distinct trains of thought could well be summed up as “Yes!” and “Oh, crap!”

On the one hand, it was great to know that he remained clueless about this. My lovely wife and I had been debating when it would be time for the talk. We knew the time was coming up soon. We know too many parents who waited too long only to find out that their child had learned the birds and the bees from a fifth grader in the school yard. Innocence just doesn’t last as long as it used to.

On the other hand, the “Oh, crap” hand, I was suddenly thrust into the conversation without being fully prepared. I had planned to do this with great fanfare and elaboration, kind of like the dad on the Las Vegas commercial who confidently teaches his daughter about sex using stuffed toys as props. Instead I had no notice, no pre-discussion pep talk from my lovely wife, no support or sock puppets or other visual aids.

I think I pulled it off. He knows about sperm and eggs and that it is possible, but not advisable, to have children without being married. In the final summation, he said he thinks it all sounds pretty gross. Mission accomplished.

I talked with my friends and quite a few of them had never done it before.  We all went on the rollerblading rink together holding hands so that if one of us fell, we would all fall.  After a couple of laps we hadn’t fallen yet so we started to break apart; once I was on my own I fell on my butt.  Now that I think about it, it was quite hilarious, but when I fell I didn’t think it was.  In fact, I was mortified!  But, I laughed it off and started talking about how klutzy I was.

The next lap around, I fell in the same exact spot and then fell while I was getting up.  Again I laughed it off and started skating again, but inside I felt like I had died.  From then on I did very well.

My mom picked me up from school and I told her my story;  she said that she was very proud of me.  I was confused as to why so I asked her why she was proud of me.  She said that she was proud of me because I got back up and kept trying, and that most girls my age probably wouldn’t have skated ever again after they fell that first time.

Personally, I think that you should never give up after just trying once at something.  I mean, nobody is perfect after trying just once, and it will take a lot of practice to be really good at something.  Nobody is perfect at everything, no matter what they say.  They might be good at one specific thing, but that doesn’t mean that since they are better than you, you should just give up.  There were quite a few people at the rollerblading rink that our school went to that were doing laps around me, but that didn’t mean I should give up.  That means that I should keep trying harder and practicing.  I say never give up on something because you never know when you will get better at it.  Never stop trying and never say that you can’t do something.

You should also be constantly trying new things because you never know when your perspectives will change on certain things.  I think you should always be open to trying new things, but that doesn’t mean that you have to like it.  You can also then say, “I tried blablabla this weekend and it was nothing like I thought it would be.”  And you never know, you might just end up liking that thing that you thought you wouldn’t like.

The first step is to get the atmosphere at least not so terrifying for your toddler. Ordinary objects can appear extraordinary in the dark. The solution is to provide a night light or a few night lights. Fears about closets can be alleviated with closed closet doors and investigating the closet with your toddler beforehand. Make sure they have their favorite sleeping stuffed animal and blanket handy.

The next step is to get into some type of routine prior to the start of preschool. That means getting them ready for bed at the same time every night. This means the weekends, too, even if the big kids get to stay up. It might be tempting to let them stay up later. But if you aren’t careful, all of that progress you are making to getting them to bed on time can be wiped out.

The third step is to cut back on the stimulation as bedtime approaches. This is a little bit harder than it sounds. It means limiting the milk or juice and replacing nighttime drinks with water. It means cutting back on desserts or pushing back dessert time to an earlier time. If they must have a snack, stick to something that won’t give them a sugar rush. Cartoons can be stimulating and delay a child’s desire to sleep. Also, try not to stimulate with a lot of playtime before bed. Try more calming activities such as baths and stories told from books. It helps a great deal if you can tire them out before bedtime.

The fourth step is to be patient. This is probably the most important step. It will take time to get them used to going to bed. You may have to endure a few tantrums, fits, and getting in and out of bed. It can turn into a battle. But the most important thing is to be consistent. Eventually, your toddler will figure out that it is more fun to sleep in the big kid bed.

The big kid bed is a sign that your toddler is growing up. It can be a hassle but the rewards will pay off in the future.

• First, doing your homework.  If you look at the semester, the homework seems to be at the heaviest from about 25% to 90% the way through the semester.  In fact, it peaks at about 75% of the way through.  And then, about 90-95% the way through the semester, it just kinda slows dramatically.  You still have homework, but much less that you previously had.  So, many students just don’t do their homework anymore.  Mostly, they no longer care.  So, you have to keep caring.  Most of the kids who no longer care are the ones who may be depending on their grade, and giving up seals the lid on the chances you had.
• Honors and other term papers.  Everyone knows that semester long papers are really only even thought about in the second half of the semester.  It is how the system works.  So, the end of a term can be a project cram fest.  That means that your options for handling the projects are slim.  Basically, if you are a student, you need to hunker down and work.  Nothing else, just work.  At the same time, parents should be there to assist the students in working.  That doesn’t mean the parents should be forcing the students to work constantly, but rather keeping distracted students on task.  This means that you do what you can to make sure they are working.  And if a student chooses to stay up until midnight working, that is their choice.  If I am on a roll with an essay, I am not stopping, because I will get it done then and there.
• Finals are a unique beast.  All I can say is study, don’t cram.  Studying is person by person, so generalized help won’t do anything.  And I don’t study much anyway

The end of the year can put you in a pickle.  So, just try to follow these tips and it should be all right.

Nurturing the Leader Within Your Child (let’s just call it NtLWYC) is written from a Christian perspective, but it isn’t preachy. The book isn’t about saving your soul. It is all about leadership and how to prepare your child to assume the role of leader. There are two things that set NtLWYC apart from the mountains of parenting books on the shelves (and increasingly in the discount bins).

First, the book is focused like a laser on one singular aspect of parenting. Elmore doesn’t try to provide an all-in-one parenting omnibus. He tackles only one issue in this book – developing the leadership potential within your child. Although there are many peripheral benefits to be gained from the insights within the book, the focus remains squarely on the goal stated within the title.

Second, NtLWYC is more attainable and applicable than your typical parenting guide book. Elmore does digress into theory from time to time; it’s hard to go 220 pages without doing so. But I found nearly every chapter contained concrete actions that I could take to reach my parenting goal of inspiring the leader within my son.

Like many things in life, you’ll get out of the study questions at the end of each chapter in proportion to what you put into them. You could easily gloss over them casually if you choose, but if you want to dig deep with them, they’ll take you places beyond the scope of the book. From the very first query at the end of the first chapter that questioned my own motivations for undertaking this quest, I found the Reflect and Respond questions to be an excellent starting point for both introspection and outward actions.

NtLWYC has been out for ten years now, and other than a few dated references (when is the last time you heard anyone talk about Norman Schwarzkopf?) it stands up well among more recent works on the subject.

Do your children know about the death of Osama Bin Laden? Can they know about his death without first knowing about his life and the evil he wrought? Have they seen the pictures of the devastation from tornados, floods, and earthquakes in recent months?

Children need to have some awareness of what is going on in the world around them. The trick is knowing where to start and stop. Kids should know about politics. Turn on the TV and you’ll notice that the news media won’t stop talking about Sarah Palin driving around in a bus for a couple of weeks. That seems safe enough. Good discussion about the political process, the two parties, etcetera. What about Congressman Anthony Weiner and his Twitter account? Not so much.

On one channel they’re talking about the unemployment numbers. Good, teaching moment about the economy and the importance of a good education. Switch the channel and they’re going on in unsettling detail about Caylee Anthony. Go on to the next station.

Sports? Good. Nothing wrong with keeping up with the sports news – unless they’re talking about Ben Roethlisberger’s off the field activities or Brett Favre’s texting.

Weather. Love the weather. My 10 year old son wants to be a meteorologist. That’s a nice, safe segment to watch together. So far, no delicate questions have sprung up during the weather segment in our house.

Some parents will have a different idea than others about what is suitable for their children to know about current events. Whatever your standards for filtering the news to your children, there are two constants. You need to have the rules defined in your own mind so you’re not forced to make snap decisions, and you and your spouse must be on the same page to avoid conflicts.