Most often, biting occurs when two children are playing together. It usually happens when one wants a toy the other one has and gets mad when the toy isn’t given to them immediately. As a result, the toddler applies their teeth. It is usually an expression of anger at a situation they don’t like.

While punishing them for biting immediately comes to mind, it is important to follow through with a one on one session designed to get toddlers to express their anger and stress how their actions have hurt the other person they were playing with. While the toddler may have an issue with sharing, you have to stress the importance of handling their anger first.

Thus, you need to show them creative ways in which to release their anger other than biting. It might be as simple as giving them a piece of paper and asking them to color how they feel or showing them how to walk away and go to a parent to say they are angry. You need to give them other tools than their teeth for expressing anger.

Another cause of biting is desire to gain your attention. It is hard to give them the time they need one on one when so many other things are going on around you. But if they are biting to get that attention, you need to carve out some time to address the issue. The solution may be as simple as a ten-minute coloring project or a thank you for helping out. Giving them praise for  good things they do, such as picking up toys, will divert them from using biting as a tool.

Addressing the issue behind the biting is part of the key to dealing with biting. If the problem is turning into something bigger than you can handle, don’t be afraid to get some help on this issue. It is important that you deal with the biting before it turns into a habit.

The good news is at this age, lying isn’t something they’ve had a lot of practice at. So, it is relatively easy to catch the problem right away. In fact, most of the time it is quite obvious that they have lied.

The trick to addressing the problem is to do it at the moment you catch them in a lie. This way, they understand that it is not a behavior that is accepted.

Treat lying as separate issue from the original thing that got them in trouble in the first place. This is so that they understand that lying is another mistake that they made in addition to whatever they did wrong.

Take the time to explain why lying is wrong. Yes, you may need to repeat this particular lecture several times in order for them to get the message. Toddlers do not always pick up the message the first time around.

Clearly explain the consequences for lying. Then follow through on the consequences. Remember, you have to be consistent.

There are some things that you have to remember about toddlers. At this age, toddlers have no concept of the difference between a little lie or a big lie. They don’t know the difference between lying to make your friend feel better or lying because you don’t want to get into a situation. There are no grey areas, only black and white.

You also have to remember that your toddler has a different perspective on things. Sometimes, they see things that you can’t. So be careful to at least hear their side of the story before you judge it is a lie. If you aren’t sure, at least check out their story first to see if it does ring true.

Lying is just one of those issues that you have to face when you have kids. It is something that you will have to address. The earlier that you do address this problem the better.

One 5th grader recently told me that the reason he failed his math test was that his teacher got the wrong answer. When I worked the problem with him on a calculator to show him his error, he said that the calculator must be wrong! Children all try this strategy in one form or another at some point in their development: If it is someone else’s fault maybe I can avoid the responsibility.

While all kids are going to try this, some will learn early that it won’t work while others will continue pressing that button into adulthood. I was working with a young man recently on this very issue. His mother came to pick him up one day in an absolute lather because she’d gotten a ticket for making an illegal right on red. She didn’t dispute the facts, but was extremely angry with the police officer who issued the ticket. She said “He shouldn’t have given me a ticket; it was an honest mistake and I said I was sorry”. That put an end to the mystery of why the boy hadn’t outgrown the “it’s not my fault” defense mechanism. His mother was modeling that behavior in her life, so why wouldn’t he continue to try?

As parents and mentors, we need to be very careful about the messages we send. Children learn much more from what they see us do than what we tell them they should do. The world is full of victims who are beset by bad math teachers and irresponsible cops. We need to be bringing up a generation of leaders who will take responsibility for their actions and accept the consequences. In order to do that, we need to BE leaders who will take responsibility for our own actions and accept the consequences.

I personally think they are a great way to communicate and work on school projects.  Or, say you do drama, you could get a group of kids together and study the script.  As long as you only are friends with people you know, I think it is personally fine to have an Oovoo or Skype account.  As any social networking account is, video chatting is all about being smart. If Kyle friends you on Oovoo and you have no clue who he is, obviously don’t accept it.  And if you are in a group video call with some friends, and someone brings someone else and they start bringing other people, signal to the original few people that you don’t want all of these people (if you don’t want them all on) and create a different call.

I always say, if you feel uncomfortable doing something, don’t do it.  And the same goes for video chatting.  If there is someone on the call making you feel uncomfortable, make sure your friend knows, and then either make that person leave, or leave yourself.  And if your friend gets mad at you for doing that, tell them that you didn’t feel comfortable. If they are a true friend, they should understand.  Ya know, it is all about making smart moves and not doing anything ludicrously stupid things, because if you do, your parents do have the right to take away your video chatting privileges.

Speaking of parents, do not go behind their back and get an account without their permission.  It’s reckless, somewhat unethical, and can get you in lots of trouble.  If your parents don’t want you to have an account, then listen to them.  Don’t go behind their back and make one against their rules; chances are they have a perfectly good reason for not letting you get one and since you went behind their back, when they find out, you will be in loads of trouble.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
The desire for instant gratification is so strong in this generation. Kids want the kind of job dad has, with the accompanying kind of income, right now. So-called menial labor is good for teaching our children several lessons, including the importance of education (“You don’t want to be doing this for the rest of your life, do you?”), budgeting, and giving more effort than is required.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault; so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Kids learn quickly to spread the blame around. Just this week my son, when explaining his bad grade on a Social Studies test, began his defense with “I told mom that I needed help…” Society is all about the blame. Our kids need to be different.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Preach it, Brother Sykes.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
To be honest, there isn’t much about school that really corresponds to real life. Kids should know this so that they can better appreciate and enjoy the precious school years.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you “FIND YOURSELF”. Do that on your own time.
True, true.

Rule 10: Television and video games are NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
TV & video games are the scourge of this generation. It’s just too easy to tune out of real life and plug into the tube. It’s our job as parents to dutifully police our kids in this area. Love the subtle Friends  reference.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
Maybe, maybe not. Still, being nice to the kids lower on the social pecking order is a noble virtue.
Those are the rules according to Charles J. Sykes. They’re not perfect, but there is some good stuff in there.

Personally, I didn’t swear much as a young child.  I didn’t hear swears much, and I pretty much only watched children’s television and PG rated movies until I was in middle school.  By middle school, I probably only knew the the words hell and damn.  Once I got into middle school, my vocabulary of swears exploded.  When I graduated 8th grade, I knew the same words I know now.  The way I use them has changed, though.  At first when you learn swears, you do one of two things: you work them into conversation as much as possible or you don’t use them at all.   Now that I’m older, swearing has become an environment based decision.  When I’m with friends, swearing is a casual thing.  When I’m at school or with family, I don’t swear or I keep it to a minimum.  When I’m at sports, you may hear some record setting combinations of swears. This just me, and is not true for everyone.

When it comes to your child, swearing should be a matter of parental choice.  I know families where there is no swearing around the parents, and the parents don’t swear.  I know other families where there is some.  I don’t know any families where there is a lot of swearing, though.  In my opinion, it should be minimal in family settings, simply because there is no need for it.  You shouldn’t have to use profanity to express how you feel.  If anything, it stunts the use of good vocabulary.  When you are with friends, it should be okay, because kids will want to use it somewhere and it’s casual.

Most importantly, explain what’s so bad about swearing to your child.  If kids don’t understand what is wrong, they may continue to use the words.  Kids need to understand what is wrong with something.  Also, don’t punish them at first, they are just curious.  Only punish the child if the language continues. Often, kids  say something to their parents first to experiment with it.

Everyone treats swearing differently, so just treat swearing the way you think it should be in your household.  Just make sure the child isn’t spitting swears off everywhere they go.

Personally, I feel that America is over medicated.  It seems that everything mandates a medication or vaccine these days.  I have lived a relatively low-medication lifestyle.  I only have taken one medication regularly in my life, an allergy medication.  And that is because I cannot read when my allergies flare up due to extremely watery eyes.  The only other times I take medications are when it is prescribed by a doctor, or I am having a particularly nasty headache.  On the other hand, many people take medication willy-nilly.  To me, it almost seems to have struck the sugar pill point.  We take medication to make us think we are better, even if it has done nothing.  The placebo effect exists in everything, though, and medication is no exception.

America may be over medicated for illness and pain, but there is another aspect which I find far more stupid: vitamin supplements.  I may be a complete oddball with this statement, but I have never taken a dietary supplement.  In fact, I think they are unnecessary unless the recipient of them has an actual medical condition.  You do not need a pill to get the necessary amounts of vitamins and minerals, rather you need the appropriate diet.  This is my opinion on supplements like Pediasure, too.  In fact, the ads for that beverage simply annoy me.  “My child is picky…so instead of improving her diet, I’m just going to supplement it.”  You know what?  That teaches the kid nothing about eating healthy.  Rather, it teaches them they can just cheat their way out of eating well by supplementing.  Supplements are a waste unless you truly have a medical reason to take them.

The children of America are overmedicated.  Maybe I’m an odd duck, but I feel medication is pretty much unnecessary unless you need it to carry out an everyday action or are prescribed it.  But that’s just me.

I’m thrilled that our son prefers to listen to the Christian pop station in our area. That’s his choice, and I fully support it. But should he have a finger on the pulse of popular culture? Does it matter if he knows who Lady Gaga is or what happened to Amy Winehouse? I know that there is a danger of going too far in the isolationist direction. I’ve known homeschooled children who were so distant from the pop culture that they simply could not relate to their peers. I don’t want that.

I also don’t want an ‘average’ kid who is a slave to the latest trend. There’s definitely a middle ground here. Like most aspects of parenting, the level of cultural immersion is a matter of striking the right balance.

Children, like adults, need convictions. They need to know who they are and what they value. If they don’t have a core set of beliefs, there is nothing to anchor them when the inevitable peer pressure comes about. A little pop culture isn’t necessarily a bad thing. A well-rounded individual gathers a fair amount of knowledge beyond their personal experience. Most adults know the endings of Citizen Kane, The Empire Strikes Back, and Soylent Green even if they’ve never seen the movies. (If you haven’t seen all three movies, I suggest you go to your local video store – if it hasn’t already gone out of business – and rent them immediately, but that’s beside the point).

If our children are secure in their own identity, they are less susceptible to the dictates of their peers. Children who are grounded in who they are will avoid either extreme – they won’t be lead astray by their peers nor will they suffer greatly for being their own individual.

All parents, good or bad, fall into one of four categories in terms of discipline – Neglectful, Permissive, Authoritarian, or Balanced. I’ll assume that no one who is taking the time to read an article on a parenting website falls into the Neglectful category so we can gloss right over that. Suffice it to say that Neglectful parents neither show their children love or teach them discipline.
Permissive parents are parents who are very loving but lack in providing any sort of boundaries or discipline to their children. These are holdovers from the Doctor Spock philosophy – be your child’s friend and everything will work out just fine. This strategy tends to produce adults who lack self-control and an effective moral compass.

Authoritarian parents are the opposite number of Permissive. Discipline is king and the parent-child relationship lacks the kind of love and support that children need to feel a sense of love and belonging. The Authoritarian tolerates no dissension, no questions. This type of parenting generally produces adults who are emotionally empty. They will seek approval from the significant relationships in their life – boss, boy/girl friends, peers – to an unhealthy degree.

The ideal parenting type is the Balanced parent – one who balances discipline and love. Balanced parenting requires us to set firm boundaries with our children without stifling them. If we show our children unconditional love without unconditionally approving their actions, we give them the emotional and functional foundation that they need to grow up to be well-adjusted adults.

Most readers are going to peg themselves as a Balanced parent. And that’s probably true. But consider where you fall within the Balanced continuum. Do you lean more toward the Authoritarian or the Permissive? Are you more authoritarian with one child (maybe the oldest) and more permissive with another (the baby)? Taking the time to give yourself an honest assessment is the first step toward improving on any areas of opportunity. Working to maintain that appropriate Love-Discipline balance is absolutely foundational to being the parent of an exceptional child.

I talked with my friends and quite a few of them had never done it before.  We all went on the rollerblading rink together holding hands so that if one of us fell, we would all fall.  After a couple of laps we hadn’t fallen yet so we started to break apart; once I was on my own I fell on my butt.  Now that I think about it, it was quite hilarious, but when I fell I didn’t think it was.  In fact, I was mortified!  But, I laughed it off and started talking about how klutzy I was.

The next lap around, I fell in the same exact spot and then fell while I was getting up.  Again I laughed it off and started skating again, but inside I felt like I had died.  From then on I did very well.

My mom picked me up from school and I told her my story;  she said that she was very proud of me.  I was confused as to why so I asked her why she was proud of me.  She said that she was proud of me because I got back up and kept trying, and that most girls my age probably wouldn’t have skated ever again after they fell that first time.

Personally, I think that you should never give up after just trying once at something.  I mean, nobody is perfect after trying just once, and it will take a lot of practice to be really good at something.  Nobody is perfect at everything, no matter what they say.  They might be good at one specific thing, but that doesn’t mean that since they are better than you, you should just give up.  There were quite a few people at the rollerblading rink that our school went to that were doing laps around me, but that didn’t mean I should give up.  That means that I should keep trying harder and practicing.  I say never give up on something because you never know when you will get better at it.  Never stop trying and never say that you can’t do something.

You should also be constantly trying new things because you never know when your perspectives will change on certain things.  I think you should always be open to trying new things, but that doesn’t mean that you have to like it.  You can also then say, “I tried blablabla this weekend and it was nothing like I thought it would be.”  And you never know, you might just end up liking that thing that you thought you wouldn’t like.