• Studying really depends on the individual.  I would never tell anyone they have to study before a test, because I almost never study for anything.  The only tests I have studied for since I entered high school are English and Spanish tests.  So, instead, I will suggest that you consider your own capabilities and then decide if you need to study or not.  No matter who you are, don’t embark on last minute cram sessions.  Although I’m not going to be the biggest advocate for studying for weeks prior to the test, last minute cramming is equally as dumb.  Your brain will need time to soak in the knowledge.
• Try to get a good night’s sleep the night before.  I am stressing the word try, because I know it can be hard to get one as a busy high school student.  The night before my first day of finals, I got home at 10:30 from a wrestling meet.  I didn’t fall asleep until midnight on that night.  At the same time, if you don’t have important things to do, don’t stay up late for no reason.
• Eat breakfast.  First of all, note that I said eat breakfast, not eat a good breakfast.  I personally don’t eat anything special on final days, I just eat whatever I usually eat.  I always eat breakfast, but for those who don’t always, you should.  It will help keep you focused and energized.  If you don’t eat breakfast, you will be distracted by hunger.  Also, be careful with energy drinks.  Make sure whatever you drink won’t result in you crashing in the middle of the test.
• Chew gum before or during the test.  I personally chew a lot of gum, especially during test.  Well, it seems to have paid off.  According to WebMD, researchers have found that gum can help test scores:  “In the study, researchers compared the effects of chewing gum before or during various testing situations in a group of about 80 undergraduate students.  The results showed students who chewed gum for five minutes before a test performed better than those who didn’t. But the benefits of chewing gum were short-lived, lasting only about 15 to 20 minutes into the test.”

Whenever you (or your child) are preparing for finals, feel free to keep these tips in mind.  Just don’t do a last minute cram session on these tips…

• Sleepovers on school nights require mature children.  Having a sleepover on a school night with young kids will result in an absolute disaster the next day.  Young (or immature) kids will stay up too late and be wrecks the next day at school.  Even if they are well behaved, young kids need a lot of sleep and will still probably not get enough.  Older kids will go to bed at an appropriate time or at least be able to handle the consequences at school the next day.
• Try to control what they are eating and drinking.  As a general rule, I don’t consume caffeinated beverages after about 7 P.M. on school nights.  Although they don’t normally affect me, sometimes they do, so I try to avoid it.  Similar rules should be considered on school night sleepovers.  If they aren’t, lack of sleep could be a major problem.
• Try to consider what the kids will need to pack.  For example, I am not bringing a sleeping bag because I would have to bring it to school the next day.  Rather, I’m just packing my clothes into my wrestling bag and bringing my backpack too.  This seemed to be the simplest answer to that dilemma.

Sleepovers on school nights may seem to be complicated and a pain in the rump, but there are some situations (like the BCS National Championship Game or the Super Bowl) where it is completely worth the hassle.

Well, those days are over.  The number one thing I do when I get bored is call up a friend.  Ask them if they want to hang out, or if they wanna go to the movies or the mall.  If you are a guy you could see if they want to play a little game of football with some kids in the neighborhood.

If all your friends are busy, take a walk, get fresh air.  Take your dog down to the park.  Do something productive.  About 30% of adolescents are obese. And almost two-thirds of Americans are overweight.  (Information borrowed from http://www.betterhealthusa.com/public/227.cfm).  This is a very unhealthy proportion.  I believe a decent amount of this is because when children get bored they turn on the TV instead of going outside.

If you haven’t finished your homework you should obviously do that first, then take advantage of the day.  Go outside and have fun.  Get rid of some of that pent-up energy.

If it is rainy and gloomy out, have a friend over and go to the movies or do some arts and crafts.  If the weather is bad and your friends are busy, have a day with the family.  For girls, do some kind of spa day with  your mom.  For boys, do some kind of bonding thing with your dad.  Watch a ballgame on TV with him.  Do what guys like.

Whatever you do, make sure you have fun.  Being productive means having fun and doing something good for yourself.   If you are having fun, your body is likely to be having fun too.  Oh, and eat healthy too.  Just felt like I’d throw that in.  Because that hasa lot to do with the large number of obese or overweight people in the United States.

One 5th grader recently told me that the reason he failed his math test was that his teacher got the wrong answer. When I worked the problem with him on a calculator to show him his error, he said that the calculator must be wrong! Children all try this strategy in one form or another at some point in their development: If it is someone else’s fault maybe I can avoid the responsibility.

While all kids are going to try this, some will learn early that it won’t work while others will continue pressing that button into adulthood. I was working with a young man recently on this very issue. His mother came to pick him up one day in an absolute lather because she’d gotten a ticket for making an illegal right on red. She didn’t dispute the facts, but was extremely angry with the police officer who issued the ticket. She said “He shouldn’t have given me a ticket; it was an honest mistake and I said I was sorry”. That put an end to the mystery of why the boy hadn’t outgrown the “it’s not my fault” defense mechanism. His mother was modeling that behavior in her life, so why wouldn’t he continue to try?

As parents and mentors, we need to be very careful about the messages we send. Children learn much more from what they see us do than what we tell them they should do. The world is full of victims who are beset by bad math teachers and irresponsible cops. We need to be bringing up a generation of leaders who will take responsibility for their actions and accept the consequences. In order to do that, we need to BE leaders who will take responsibility for our own actions and accept the consequences.

Life happens, and we age. Our problems become bigger. We have mortgages to pay, jobs to keep, illnesses to recover from, and then — children to take care of. Our former lives as teenagers seem so simple in comparison to what we go through as parents.

But, this does not mean that when your teenager approaches you with his or her problems, that you should respond by saying how easy they have it or that the problem is trivial. This will only push your son or daughter away from you.

I sometimes wonder if parents who say, “My teen won’t talk to me,” have inadvertently shut the communication process down, in part, because of their reaction to teen problems. Would you want to talk about an important issue with someone who tells you that it’s small and unimportant?

What parents of pre-teens and teens need to do in order to really be there for their children is listen in a non-judgmental way. Really hear what your child says – with your full attention and with empathy. Push yourself to remember how hard being a teenager really is…the fears, the heartache, and the hormones, all of it!

Another thing to remember pertains to listening to topics that make you uncomfortable. If you really want to make sure your son or daughter doesn’t experiment with sex or drugs, be prepared to listen to them when they discuss these touchy subjects. I understand that the fact that your child is growing up may be difficult to accept, yet growth has always been inevitable; share in this fabulous journey with your child.

Finally, be prepared to interact with your child when he or she feels ready to talk. It may be an inconvenient time for you, but the benefit of being available whenever your son or daughter needs you is that it sends a clear message – you can be counted on.

Again, I ask you to think back to your own teen years. Did you enjoy a close relationship with your own mom and dad, or did you have to keep things bottled up because you felt your parents just wouldn’t understand? Don’t you want things to be different for your child if your parents were aloof?

So, next time your teen laments over a failed test, a less than perfect first kiss, or even problem split ends, remind yourself that those seemingly trivial issues are major concerns to him or her. Build your relationship by acknowledging this important fact.

First of all, you have to remember that your height is completely out of anyone’s control.  The genetics you are born with are currently unchangeable and will determine your height, so what you get is what you are stuck with.

Next, don’t take the percentages that height and weight are entered into at the doctor’s too seriously.  First off all, they are based on where kids at an age should be, not where the spread of kids that age actually falls.  I am in the 60th percentile at 160, but I go to school with kids who are at least 100 pounds more than me, meaning they are off the charts.  Until my sister turned 12, she was below the 1st percentile, yet she wasn’t always the shortest kid in her class.  The same should be considered about the BMI chart.  If you are a muscular individual, you may be marked as obese on it because you have muscle mass.

The height of your relatives can be considered, but it doesn’t necessarily mean anything.  Some kids may grow to be taller or shorter than their family, although most are similar to at least one relative.  I am probably going to be about the same size as my mom’s brothers, or even a bit taller.  Also, don’t rely on height calculators, because most base it on the size of your parents.  For example, all the ones I tried out said I should be 5’6″ or 5’7″, but I am 5’10″ and only 15.

Finally, remember that everyone will grow at a different rate.  As a general rule, girls finish at around 15 and boys finish growing around 18, but this is not necessarily true.  Men can continue to grow into their 20s.

Every kid cares about how large they are, but they shouldn’t worry.  Simply put, it is out of their hands and many forms of estimation are inaccurate.  It will be what it will be.

(Graphic: CDC)

• Take retakes whenever you can — if it will be beneficial.  My school allows as many retakes as you want at the teacher’s discretion.  So, if a get a low grade on a test that I know I could have done better on, I schedule a retake.  Sometimes a retake is not practical, though.  For example, my English teacher always makes his retakes harder than the original test so kids don’t use the main test as a glimpse at what is on it and then study for the retake.  So, if your school has an easy retake policy, use it!
• Keep up on our grades.  Some schools, such as mine, use online grade reporting software, such as Edline.  Every two weeks, the teachers are required to post your grade reports on the Edline account so parents can monitor it and students can know what to fix.  This makes it easy to do your retakes quickly and fix grades before they close.  If your school has these, take advantage of them and check whenever possible so you can be on top of the ball.
• Do stuff quickly.  Waiting three weeks after a test to do a retake will probably end badly.  Odds are, the teacher will say no because you waited too long.  Even if they say the retake is okay, you have forgotten a lot of what you learned and are not currently studying it in class, so it is not going to go well.  This is also true with homework.  If you don’t know when it is due, assume it is due next class.  That way, you won’t have a zero weighing down your grade.

Keeping your grades up can be hard, but there are many steps a teenager can take to make sure they have good, satisfying grades.

But I chose to write this post anyways, as I do know one thing for certain – parents want what is best for their teenager, and their picture of health and happiness does not include sexually transmitted infections (STI’s) and unwanted pregnancy.

As the parent of three children, I know the importance of encouraging teens to wait as long as possible before engaging in any form of sexual behavior. We all know that sexual activity leads to both emotional and physical consequences. And as a health educator (for 20 years), I also realize the negative health effects of beginning to engage in sexual intercourse too early.

So, what is a parent of a teenager to do when it comes to this tricky subject? I will share what has worked for me.

First, open communication reigns supreme. From the time my three children were little, they have felt safe when discussing any subject with me. Did this take willpower and strength on my part? Yes! Yet the benefits of open communication have paid off in the long run. My kids tell me everything that goes on in their lives, everything from first crushes to first kisses. Basically, if your child feels safe telling you details, then he or she will come to you with questions about sex. This provides the perfect opportunity to discuss sensitive subjects in an open and honest fashion.

Next, share stories of your own teen years. No, you don’t have to tell your child all about your first sexual experience, but you do have to share the emotional roller coaster you went through as a teen. Think back…remember how hard it was to “fit in?” When you let your teen know that you wrestled with this complicated issue as well, you seem more relateable.

Another step to take is providing education on the topic of sex for your child. I know that this area is a touchy one for many parents. Some argue that if you give your child too much information, then you are encouraging him or her to do the very act you are discussing. After being in the health field for two decades, I know firsthand that this is not the case. When you educate a child, you are giving him or her the necessary tools to evaluate a situation in an effective manner. If your teen knows the consequences of sexual activity, they will be less likely to engage in such behavior.

A final way to prevent teen STI’s and pregnancy concerns behavior of your child’s friends. If you see their friends engaging in risky behavior…speak up! Let your child know you do not approve of this kind of activity!

I have watched quite a few R rated movies, like just last week I watched Horrible Bosses (if you are curious I thought it was hilarious).  The R rated movies that I do watch are typically rated R because of language, which, for me, isn’t that big of a deal.  More than half the stuff said in the movies I hear on the bus every day.  The one thing I don’t like about R rated movies is when they are rated R because of goriness.  I wouldn’t say I qualify for fainthearted or really even faint stomached, but I do get faint very easily if you get what I’m hinting at.  That is the only thing that will make me not view an R rated movie.  Besides that, and scary movies, my dad doesn’t really care, of course he and his wife always watch them with me, but still, you get what I’m saying.  My mom on the other hand isn’t quite that lenient, but I still have a fairly free range on movies.

I personally think that children that are not teenagers yet should not be allowed to watch R rated movies, and any teenager under age 17 shouldn’t see it without a parent.  As for PG-13, any child under 10 probably shouldn’t see them, because I have seen a fair number of PG-13 movies where they really pushed the limit on the rating scale.  I am not even going to start talking about movies that are rated higher that R because: 1) I have never see any movie rated over R and 2) I don’t think those movies should even be produced.  The fact that the rating of R is not protective enough to the audience is insane.  If you agree, or disagree, with me, leave a comment explaining why you do or don’t and I will take your thoughts into consideration.

Personally, I didn’t swear much as a young child.  I didn’t hear swears much, and I pretty much only watched children’s television and PG rated movies until I was in middle school.  By middle school, I probably only knew the the words hell and damn.  Once I got into middle school, my vocabulary of swears exploded.  When I graduated 8th grade, I knew the same words I know now.  The way I use them has changed, though.  At first when you learn swears, you do one of two things: you work them into conversation as much as possible or you don’t use them at all.   Now that I’m older, swearing has become an environment based decision.  When I’m with friends, swearing is a casual thing.  When I’m at school or with family, I don’t swear or I keep it to a minimum.  When I’m at sports, you may hear some record setting combinations of swears. This just me, and is not true for everyone.

When it comes to your child, swearing should be a matter of parental choice.  I know families where there is no swearing around the parents, and the parents don’t swear.  I know other families where there is some.  I don’t know any families where there is a lot of swearing, though.  In my opinion, it should be minimal in family settings, simply because there is no need for it.  You shouldn’t have to use profanity to express how you feel.  If anything, it stunts the use of good vocabulary.  When you are with friends, it should be okay, because kids will want to use it somewhere and it’s casual.

Most importantly, explain what’s so bad about swearing to your child.  If kids don’t understand what is wrong, they may continue to use the words.  Kids need to understand what is wrong with something.  Also, don’t punish them at first, they are just curious.  Only punish the child if the language continues. Often, kids  say something to their parents first to experiment with it.

Everyone treats swearing differently, so just treat swearing the way you think it should be in your household.  Just make sure the child isn’t spitting swears off everywhere they go.