Toddlers and school-aged children are quite good at noncompliance; they have this knack for playing deaf and ignoring whomever they would like to ignore when they want. We often hear parents or nannies complain about needing to repeat requests and raise their voices to get through to the child behind the wall of noncompliance. Children do not do this just for spite, to annoy or frustrate adults; they do it because they have to. Children and fun are inseparable. When a child is having fun doing something, he would naturally want to keep doing it. That is why it takes repeated commands and a raised voice to finally get you toddler to stop playing with his ball and clean up for bed. Here are some tips to help you get your child to listen.
Be predictable. Children know how to recognize and learn patterns, and this include the pattern of their parents’ behavior. Being predictable means having clear rules, being fair and consistent. When you are predictable, your child will surely know when you mean business and when you are kidding. Being predictable shows your children that there is a clear-cut space and time for everything. You don’t have to raise your voice to signal that you mean business. All you have to do is be consistent in everything you show your child.
Be specific. When your child knows specifically the behavior you would like to see, it is easier for him to do it. When giving requests, be direct. Children are more likely to follow direct requests.
Give good rewards when your child listens. It is always better to reward than to punish. Be on the lookout for good behavior and never fail to reward your child with praise when he heeds you requests without delay. When it is necessary to give punishment, be quick with it and avoid piling it up when the child continues to show noncompliance.
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One of the many challenges that parents face is the decision to enroll their child in a sports program for the first time. When to enroll, where to enroll, and in what sport? All three questions can be tricky, and all three will have a significant impact on your child’s development.
The when is partially dictated by the league. Many sports are open to 4 year olds. But is your four year old ready? In my experience as a coach and a father, I’ve found five to be more appropriate for most children. At five they have begun school and have a gasp on the discipline required to sit still and take instruction.
What sport to choose? The biggest mistake parents make here is thinking that their five year old is equipped to make a decision that will last through their high school years. Little Johnny may be excited about basketball right now, but will he still be interested when he hits middle school? I endorse the approach of letting your child try as many different programs as they express an interest in. Don’t push your favorite on your child or assume that he wants to continue playing one sport forever. Over the course of their first few years, a child can easily try a season of basketball, baseball, football, and soccer.
After a season of each (and there is no reason to limit them to the four examples listed above), your child certainly will have both good and bad experiences. Some sports and leagues you may decide to revisit, others you may never see again. The point is that a child of 4, 5,6, 7 years old wants to explore, and a variety of sports programs is a good outlet.
Where to enroll may be the hardest of the three questions. Depending on where you live, you may have multiple leagues available to you for a given sport. My best advice to you is to find the league that focuses on instruction, not competition. There will be plenty of time to compete as your child gets older. For the first years, quality instruction matters far more than winning games.
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Swoosh, swoosh, swoosh. These sounds kept running through my head for the 36 hour journey. The sound of my baby’s heartbeat heard just a few days prior. As I kissed my wife for the last time in 120 days, I was crushed. What kind of father will I be? Who could just leave their unborn child and wife?
I’ve been in the military for almost eleven years and have spent numerous years away from wife (while we were still dating) and even a few months right after saying, ‘I do.’ None of that time apart stung as much as this.
It is a great honor to me that God trusted my wife and me with a child. I want to do the best job I can and leaving was not even an option. However, I believe that this time away is for a purpose. I still have no clue what or why, but I can see my wife getting stronger as the days pass by.
For me, the heartbeats I hear and the pictures I have give me a sense of purpose. Just coming on this trip forced me to prepare for every tiny little detail. I know that being a daddy will take lots of preparation. Forecasting funds for college education, planning family vacations, making sure the diaper bag is stocked.
Planning and details always have been a weakness of mine. This trip has forced me to grow up in this area of my life. I really wonder what other areas of current deficiency will be tested over the coming months and years.
For the first time in my adult life, I have a sense of purpose. A calling that has nothing to do with me. No longer am I trying to improve myself for me but for my child. I want to ensure that every ‘swoosh’ is from the heart of a child who is loved.
Are there any testimonies out there of how you grew as parents? Things that were once weaknesses but are now strengths. Areas you never even thought about but now focus on daily.
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I taught myself how to play the guitar when I was 17. Yes, I started late, but I learned fast. Just a year after learning the guitar, I played bass in a band that my brother and I started. During that time I seriously considered pursuing a career in music, so I learned everything there was to learn about music. But time changes things and some things had to be set aside; my music took the backseat as I pursued my degree. But music did not die in my heart, it just lay dormant, waiting to be tapped into wakefulness. I keep telling myself that I will soon have time for it. But that time never comes.
Time flies fast, now I am a father working hard to build a good future for my son. Just like other parents, I want my son to excel, to be somewhat extraordinary, to have artistic talent. In life, artistic talent is not really necessary, but it is a very big plus and how I wish my son would have it. I want my son to learn music, too, but I do not want to force it on him. If he shows interest in music, I gladly will give it to him.
Every time I see a very young child showing extraordinary talent in music, I can not help but wonder about the best time to teach a child how to play a musical instrument. I saw a young Korean girl execute a very difficult classical piece with so much mature emotion on Youtube. It made me wonder about the time she started to learn the guitar–was it when she was three or four?
My son is now four years old, but he is not showing any interest in the guitar. The only things with my old electric guitar that catch his attention are the volume and tone knobs on it and not the music that it produces. But this does not frustrate me, I know that the best time to teach him how to play the guitar or any musical instrument is when he shows interest. It could come any time, maybe when he’s 5, or 8, or when he’s 10. It could be when he’s 17, who knows?
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Next time you parents out there tell your children they can’t play a sport, I want you to think again. As a teen, I think sports are very good for teens. Read on to hear my thoughts.
First off, sports get teens active! With everyone so worried about the obesity ‘crisis’ here’s my solution: get active and eat well! Sports allow teens to get active and have fun. I run track and cross-country, do karate, and ski. And guess what? I’m currently losing weight! So, if you feel your teen needs to be healthier, have her play a sport. Also, sports are fun. I play sports ’cause I like them and they’re fun! Well, what if your teen says, “I don’t like any of them” or “I’m no good at any of them”? There are tons of choices from archery to volleyball and lots in between! Seeing as there are many options, your teen should be able to find a sport. If you’re worried about obesity or inactivity, have your teen play a sport!!!
Now, sports do more than get you healthy, they also teach kids discipline and how to work as a team. For example, karate has a very heavy emphasis on respect, discipline, honor, and, largely, respect for your elders. These are all very important and will help you all the way through life. Team sports will teach kids how to work with others as a group. This is very important because if you are unable to work with others, your life will most likely be unsuccessful. Also, sports teach you how to socialize and make friends. These, too, will help you for life.
Unless you want to spend the rest of your life being unhealthy and saying, “Do you want fries with that?”, I would advise you to have your teens play sports!
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